where do you go to my lovely

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

come thru bitch

If I had legs like his I'd show them off all the time too

If I had this much ass I'd wear skin tight pencil skirts all the time

KING HAS LEGS

Lord has CAKE

peak doctor who was the end of season 4 when the entire cast of the previous series turned up and it was just bitchin one liners from everyone without a coherent plot thanks rtd you legend

That title sequence though

every friend group should include a bimbo, a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, she/theys and he/theys, a token straight that’s on thin ice, an astrology bitch who has everyone’s birth chart memorized, and a short king

The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.

Wait…what?

Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄

also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck

snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.

he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of

Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?

all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades

ROMANTIC LOVE IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN PLATONIC LOVE!!!

In a nutshell

do you think there’s ever been a point in the avatar cycle where everyone was just waiting for them to pop up in one of the water tribes, but instead they reincarnated into one of those waterbending swamp hicks in the earth kingdom? because I really like the idea of a swamp avatar with a little leaf hat and a southern drawl.

Instead of a polar bear dog or whatever, their animal companion is an alligator.

The last airbender: the legend of Florida Woman

The hottest take

I have a mighty need

We need more of this

It wasn’t immediately clear in the first tweet that the surgery was on her head and I started off a little creeped out that someone was doing surprise hairstyling on someone unconscious.