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the paper is warm because the printer just layed them

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

dont min🟨d me im just taking my yellow tile for a walk. come on boy you're falling behind

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

straight women will try to reassure you about their homophobic boyfriends the same way dog owners are always going "oh he's friendly" with their visibly agitated dog

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.