cockamamie crazy person

they're mine

ah I see. reclaiming the Self

god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."

I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table  arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”

American horror needs to stop bastardizing other cultures' folklore and focus on our own. I need the Winchesters to kill Paul Bunyan.

So get this: huge swaths of protected forests are getting cut down overnight. Wow Sammy I knew you were gay but I didn't realize you were an environmentalist. Shut up Dean, some of the things cut down weren't trees, they were people. What? Yeah they were sliced up...lengthwise. Like boards? Yes exactly like boards. Opening title card. Whoosh noise with the sound of an axe overlaying it.

They then burn an entire brontosaurus worth of fossil fuels driving to Maine (to prove they aren't gay)

the music is almost as good as that visual

Turn the sound on! You will not be disappointed, people!

FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD, UNMUTE!!!!

n years later this is still one of my favorite videos

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

i think some of you dont like narratives or stories or characters i think you just like fanfiction tropes

protagonists can and will be sexist, racist, insensitive, cruel, stupid, etc, especially towards the beginning of a story. these are called character flaws and they are a surprise tool that will lead to narrative fulfillment later

And sometimes "narrative fulfillment" doesn't mean "the character overcomes their flaws" or even "the antihero is punished for their flaws"! sometimes it means the narrative says "wow was that fucked up or what? anyway i'm rod sterling"