We are here for you! @mental-ch-illness - Tumblr Blog

not all trauma is fast paced or violent. trauma can occur at a slow, insidious pace. don’t gaslight yourself by saying something couldn’t possibly be traumatic because it didn’t happen quickly enough.

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mental-ch-illness

emotional flashbacks are like running up a hill but you never make any progress. you’re not even running, you’re feet are glued to the floor. but goddamn are you still trying to fucking run.

being afraid of conflict is bad. everyone is pretending the best thing you can do is just run away from your problems. that doesn’t work. avoidance isn’t a solution, and i don’t mean you have to be physically in front of the problem. i mean you can’t run away from what you’ve been through. when you run through fire, you get burned. it’s the same for all trauma.

it’s a hard truth i had to accept, but one necessary for healing.

#ptsd advice #cptsd #bpd #actuallybpd #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actuallyavpd

I turn 26 in a week. I’m dreading it. I haven’t had a truly good birthday since I was a teenager. And this certainly won’t change this year as I am currently experiencing 3 week long periods. The doctors are investigating. As I told them the last time this happened birth control won’t solve this.

last time they had to remove a mass from my uterus, fortunately everything was cleanly removed, but i was warned of future reoccurrence. this time the imaging was inconclusive because my endometrium was extreme thick, abnormal thick. but whatever.

i was given progesterone. I am taking it. I started my period anyway.

What am I even doing here anymore?

Hi and thank you for your blog! I can’t find the faq page on mobile, I really hope I’m not breaking the rules, if I am just ignore me.

I just came across your post about trauma and being in a healthy relationship, and the part about questioning your feelings for your person is something I relate to a lot (if I understood it correctly). That is, I have never actually been in a relationship, I have avpd and might lean most towards disorganized attachment style, so it’s kind of hard to say for sure if this is how I would react. But whenever I meet people I might like, it seems like I tend to automatically switch off my emotions and I completely doubt if I ever felt anything at all or what the point of connecting with other people even is, yet still yearning so much for connection. It’s scary and confusing and I fear I’ll never have a relationship if I don’t change something. In your post you mentioned how you also switch on and off, that it was really hard to maintain balance but that so far it’s still working. How are ways you try to maintain balance and stop yourself from switching off emotions or your doubt?

Yes! This is definitely my experience with AVPD. I switch off a lot of emotions and shut down.

My best advice is to just force yourself out there. I wish it was easier, but it isn’t. trust me, I have tried for many years to simply never go out into public and yet still have friends. And it has never worked. I have always been alone, until I started forcing myself to meet people. It is hard and it is scary, but it is necessary. You have to engage with people. It’s scary and I wish it wasn’t.

I don’t have a magic formula to make it easier. I wish I did, but I don’t. What I can do is suggest group therapy. Group therapy gives you a safe place to discuss your fears, while also being in a social setting. It did help me significantly.

#AVPD #avoidant personality disorder

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(answering the not-media related hyperfixations/special interests) MYTHOLOGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fuckin LOVE mythology although i’m not really sure if it’s a special interest or just a hyperfixation lol. though i can’t imagine living my life without it! i’ve learned about greek mythology, egyptian mythology, and norse mythology, though i primarily remember things about greek mythology for whatever reason lmao and i plan on learning about lots of other mythologies! :DDDD it’s something that can bring me joy and i like to go on spiels about it to my mom (though that’s quite a rare occurrence)! my favorite greek gods are apollo and artemis! apollo’s the god of the sun (FUN FACT ABOUT THAT: helios was actually the titan of the sun and light, but the ancient greeks forgot about him [i don’t quite blame them, there’s a LOT of gods to keep track of] and so they decided that apollo was the god of the sun!), music and the arts, plagues/diseases, healing, archery, prophecy, young boys (plus children as a whole i think) and a ton more (that guy had a lot going on for him lmao, i don’t mean the saying, i just mean…..he was the god of a lot of things but you should see hermes)! artemis was the goddess of childbirth, young girls (and children as a whole, i’m pretty sure), the moon (selene was the titan of the moon! though im not sure if the greeks had forgotten about her), chastity, the wilderness, and a lot more i can’t remember right now. wow, i’m writing a lot about this lmao, sorry i guess i got excited or smthing! anyway, have a good day/night/etc! :DD

MYTHOLOGY!!!

i remember when there was that huge explosion in mythology during the popularity of the Percy Jackson series. That probably inspired so many Autistic Awakenings. That moment when you find a thing that basically becomes you.

would furbies count as a media interest? i absolutely love them but everyone is pretty judgmental to me about them due to all of the myths about them recording you or saying swears or being the devil in general

Yes, they absolutely do count!

turn off ad blocker? in this economy?? i need to save up my energy so i can fucking exist.

Sometimes, you are better off with an unknown future than one filled with pain.

#abuse survivor #mental health #mental illness #brighter days will come #i see it even when looking down

if your therapist talks to you about their sex life, find a new therapist

#mental illness advice #mental health #bpd #avpd #the full story is wild #you are always worthy of more but i don’t want to overwhelm anyone

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loveridden1999

i hope something good happens to me. i hope something good happens to you too. i hope something good happens to all of us soon

nothorses

you do kind of have to actively shape how you feel a little bit. you can't just like, passively wait for the world to impress and inspire you. you have to choose to look for it & you have to choose to find it.

siratonin

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

siratonin

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

thesweetiepienovels

Actually, you are enough. Even if you don’t work. Or study. Or go out. Or have friends. Or have family. You’re enough because you exist and your existence is enough to be enough because you are not a product. You are not a sum of output. You are not a task to complete. But because you are something the universe wanted and put here even if you’ll never understand why. Somewhere in the cosmos your existence makes a difference, even if it’s not the way others existences do.

‘wahh wahh i don’t want to see an autistic person stimming because it’s so out of place that it makes me uncomfortable!!’ like… okay?? it’s weird to me that you can feel normal without stimming. you’re not special, bitch.

#autism #asd #autism spectrum disorder

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wholeheartedsuggestions

here is your permission to not constantly seek the validation of others even if they are people you like

mental-ch-illness

So my mother is finally in therapy and the effects are… interesting.

While I won’t go into context about my childhood, I can certainly summarize the consequences that my mother has faced. My older sibling has almost completely cut off contact with my mother. It’s been oh so hard for her because now she can’t even see her grandchild. That’s what put her into therapy. She feels like she’s ‘lost a child forever’, which is… so ironic, but we’re not getting into that today.

I would say she has changed in some ways. I think she’s been forced to realize that her volatile reactions and vitriolic words towards us as kids did, in fact, actually hurt our relationship with her. As a result, she’s been definitely calmer and more centered, yet she seems to think this was all she needed to do. That if she’s just nice it will fix us. Ma’am, that’s not how it works.

Parenting isn’t a coloring page. To have a good relationship with your adult children, you need to have a good relationship with your children when they are actually children. You need to express empathy, listen to them, and, most importantly, act like a fucking adult when they mess up.

mental-ch-illness

I take it all back. She hasn't actually improved at all. I had to take my bird to urgent care today and when I asked if she could release my funds into my bank account (it's all my money that I've earned by working), she began asking if I was serious about grad school, if I was doing this to get sympathy from her, if I care about how hard she and my father had to work, blah blah blah.

It's my fucking money, and if it weren't for the fact that you give me access to my healthcare (which includes access to expensive and life saving medications), you wouldn't have a goddamn say in it! This is my bird, one of the few creatures on this goddamn planet that loves me unconditionally, and I have a literal emergency fund for my pets. Again, it's MY MONEY!!! That I EARNED all by myself!!! If it weren't for the fact that you dangle healthcare over my head you would have absolutely no access to it.

I'm being held fucking hostage.

#maple vents

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