Slayer, Comma The

actually it was the first time when Nikki became conscious after the wish. you know, when she was outside Bear's car, talking nonsense about the cat and she suddenly snaps into consciousness and goes "wait what the fuck?"

it wasn't enough to scare me but it was so fucking unnerving. especially if you know what's happening and what's coming, which i did.

like imagine you had a long night and you're going home to get some rest, and then suddenly your body starts moving of its own accord. and suddenly you're outside your coworker's car and you're talking nonsense, you're behaving very strangely, you're creeping him out and you don't know why.

did Nikki think she was going insane? did she think that she got drugged or that maybe something was wrong with her? how long did she wonder if she was just losing her mind, before realizing Bear had something to do with it?

I am so far away from home. I am so afraid but I cannot show it. I’m going to be all on my own out there and people are not kind to me. I’ve always been alone, but never this kind of alone before. I don’t really know you, but you seemed kind. And earnest. You would not lie to me. Is it safe? Will I be happy there and safe? Boston is nice too?

yuna was born and raised in montreal. david went to college there. they definitely took shane to metros games at the bell center growing up. he KNOWS montreal, at least a little bit. but ilya? he doesn’t know shit about boston. never been there in his fucking life. he speaks english, sure, but speaking a language and knowing literally anything else about a city, about a country, are such vastly different things.

“Haas, where are you right now?”

“The club by the hotel.”

“And he’s not in the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Not on the roof?”

“No.”

“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”

“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”

“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”

“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”

“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”

“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”

“Did anyone bring up sushi?”

“He didn’t say he wanted-“

“Just answer the question.”

“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“

“He’s at the pier.”

“What?”

“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”

“… How do you know that?”

Behold, the digital artchery glove!

….but Wait…

…….!!!

actually it was the first time when Nikki became conscious after the wish. you know, when she was outside Bear's car, talking nonsense about the cat and she suddenly snaps into consciousness and goes "wait what the fuck?"

it wasn't enough to scare me but it was so fucking unnerving. especially if you know what's happening and what's coming, which i did.

like imagine you had a long night and you're going home to get some rest, and then suddenly your body starts moving of its own accord. and suddenly you're outside your coworker's car and you're talking nonsense, you're behaving very strangely, you're creeping him out and you don't know why.

did Nikki think she was going insane? did she think that she got drugged or that maybe something was wrong with her? how long did she wonder if she was just losing her mind, before realizing Bear had something to do with it?

you’re basically creating dramatic irony for yourself, it’s like watching the story of a doomed protagonist. you know what’s going to happen, you know exactly how Nikki is going to suffer and you know she’s not gonna get a happy ending. you’re dreading every step of the way, while simultaneously not being able to look away.

and then the real nikki speaks to him. and she begs him to kill her. she is so scared. don't wake her up please dont wake her up just kill me. and bear gets angry. he doesn't even apologise. he doesn't care about nikki's true feelings. he WANTS her to be obsessed with him, he just doesn't want her to do it in such an ugly and inconvenient way. he lashes out at her. "What would be so bad? What's so bad about being with me?".

it has never been about her. if it was, bear wouldn't have been satisfied about living with a girl who's only resemblance to nikki was her body. he turned her life into a living hell. in fact, he turned TWO girl's lives into a living hell. because the entity was miserable too. she was created exclusively to love a person who would never love her back. who never cared about her.

and he never once considers how it affected nikki. he gets scared of the entity acting weird and creepy but the moment the real nikki begs him for a shred of sympathy, for just a bit of mercy. he doesn't care. he only cares about the fact she won't reciprocate his feelings. he only cares about how she can satisfy him.

it was the turning point of the movie that made me realise that there was never any justifying his actions. it re-contextualises everything. he was content with nikki's suffering as long as it brought him pleasure. as long as it soothed his ego. as long as it was convenient. and for as much as he talked about being in love with her, all he cared about was her body. the entity was an entirely different girl, all she had was nikki's face and body. if he ever truly loved nikki like he claimed, he would have been deeply disturbed by the personality change. but he never was. he was only ever disturbed by the creepy things specifically. but the palatable changes? the way she talks, the way she expresses herself, what she does in her free time, how she dresses? all of that was gone. different. a whole new person. yet he didn't give a single fuck.