Fuckin DRAGONS YALL

Dick: We have cupcakes? Give me one

Bruce: Not anymore, they’re all gone. All thirty of them

Stephanie, crossing her arms: Why does it matter? Just ask Alfred to make some more if you want some

Bruce: They’re not for me; they’re for Damian’s school event which is in… *checks his watch* twenty minutes

Dick: Maybe you can bring a bowl of candy or something

Tim, looking up from his phone: Oh, actually I took most of the candy to a thing with my friends

Jason, walking in and sitting down at the counter: Tim has friends?

Tim: Your best friends are basically hand-me-downs from Dick, I wouldn’t be talking

Jason, scowling: That’s—

Dick: Timmy, you sure you took all the candy? You didn’t leave any?

Tim: Uhhh, I think I left like three packs of Fruit Snacks

Dick: Okay, how many kids are in Damian’s class? Maybe they can split them?

Damian: I am not bringing fruit snacks to a school event. Have class, Grayson

Dick: Hey! Fruit Snacks are delicious and healthy!

Jason: Healthy? Fruit Snacks?

Dick: Yeah, the packaging says it uses real fruit and is 100% Vitamin C and 25% Vitamins A and E

Stephanie, whispering: There are vitamins called A and E? Is there a vitamin alphabet?

Damian: The fact that you have survived to adulthood is astounding

Bruce: We’re getting off topic. Who took the cupcakes? I won’t be mad

Stephanie: Why are you asking if you won’t be mad? Why do you need to know? Why’s it your business?

Bruce: I just want to know who’s brave enough to tell me the truth

Jason: We jump off of buildings and fight people who want us dead nightly, why are you questioning our bravery?

Tim: And slash or stupidity

Dick: Hang on, when did Alfred make cupcakes anyway? Hasn’t he been busy?

Bruce: Alfred didn’t make them, I made them.

Dick: You… made cupcakes?

Tim: Great, so all we have to do is see who dies of food poisoning within the next few hours and we have our culprit

Jason: I’m going to tell Alfred that Bruce used the kitchen again

Bruce: Hey! I followed a recipe this time and I barely took any creative liberties!

Dick: Barely? You barely took any “creative liberties”?

Damian: I believe the cupcakes going missing before this event was a blessing in disguise

Stephanie: Everyone shut up! I need to call my mom and tell her I love her

Bruce: So it was you!

Stephanie, gripping the counter: Not now, B, I’m having a crisis! *Gagging noises* I’m going to die! *Slowly loosens her grip on the counter and slinks down onto the floor, still gagging*

Bruce: Stephanie, you’ll be fine! The recipe had some good reviews

Dick: I’ll call Leslie!

Stephanie, from the kitchen floor: I SEE THE LIGHT!

Jason, running out: ALFRED!

Damian: Brown, you are looking at the ceiling light

Stephanie: God? That you?

————————————————

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

*comm line pings*

Dick: Hey, Timbo. How’s Paris?

Tim: Boring. Just a bunch of W.E meetings that B wanted me to attend like he couldn’t do it himself. He’s downstairs with Lucius. What’s going on?

Dick: Jay and Damian are overseeing Gotham and I’m in Blüd.

Tim: Who had the bright idea to let those two idiots go by themselves?

Dick: *snorting* We’re stretched thin.

Tim: So? We’ve been short-staffed and managed.

Dick: *grinning audibly* Ok ok, I thought it’d be funny. Let me add them.

*comm line pings*

Damian: *grunting* Catch, Hood.

Jason: *humming* Interesting. Very interesting. Looks like they have a couple big dogs on their roster *punching sound can be heard* Stay the fuck down, don’t get up. Tell B that I’ll look into it.

Tim: Seems like a pretty busy night in Gotham.

Damian: Drake, how is your business trip? I trust that you are learning much from Father.

Dick: Think again. I know for a fact that he's bored out of his mind and rather be back with us.

Jason: What's not to like about Paris? Baguettes. French women. Cigarettes.

Tim: It's a bunch of suits talking business and me agreeing with them even though I think they're a bunch of idiots. What's going on? Any new cases?

Damian: Just the typical petty crimes, stop looking at me like that, Hood. I am not entertaining that debate, we have to finish the cases Father left for us before he returns.

Dick: *cackling* Please involve us. I WANT TO KNOW THIS DEBATE.

Tim: *pleading* Please. Please. I will bring you back fucking souvenirs. Whatever you want. Please-I am fucking losing my mind here.

Jason: You can fly but you’re very slow OR you’re invisible but you smell to high hell. The closer people get to you, the stronger the smell is.

Damian: *disgusted* Good God. That is atrocious.

Tim: How slow? What’s the mileage I’m getting here?

Jason: 15. Actually-School zone speed limit.

Damian: *pondering* It would be the environmentally conscious decision.

Tim: Who cares about the environment? Have you seen gas prices? I’m trying to be conscious about my wallet.

Dick: *interrupting* And no perfume or cologne can change this?

Jason: Nope. None at all. Wear your stench with pride.

Damian: Are we just smelly when we are invisible? Or is this some chronic condition that follows us around regardless?

Tim: Does it matter? Someone with a good nose is going to find you.

Jason: The smell of doom and despair only applies when you’re invisible.

Damian: I am taking flight.

Dick: But you’re moving at the speed of a broken down Honda Civic!

Damian: *mortified* In comparison to emitting a stench so foul that people can acknowledge your presence despite having invisibility?

Tim: Flight. Hands down.

Jason: Basically you’re either Martian Manhunter or Wonderwoman.

Dick: Why would you pick him as a prime example? Cause he’s not from here? That’s so fucking racist.

Tim: *cackles*

Jason: What? No, dickhead. HE WAS THE FIRST ONE THAT I THOUGHT OF WHEN IT CAME TO INVISIBILITY.

Damian: It is okay, Hood. We all have biases. You may admit it, you are amongst family.

Jason: Shut up. If anyone has any biases, it’s Bruce. He’s fucking prejudice.

Tim: Against who? It sounds like you’re projecting.

Jason: I’m gonna project a bullet in you. He’s metaphobic. I’m telling you.

Dick: *laughing* HE’S WHAT? That’s not an actual term.

Jason: It should be. He constantly says all the time *lowers voice* “ No metas in Gotham!” That’s him being prejudicial against a whole protected class.

Damian: That’s not- *pondering* Wait-Why does Father not allow metahumans in Gotham? He works very closely with them on the Justice League.

Tim: I dunno. He’s just territorial.

Jason: Like some weird dom. In love with the infrastructure of this city.

Tim: *giggling* A DOM?

Dick: *sultry voice* Who does this city belong to?

Damian: Grayson-Let me patrol with you. I don’t like the energy Akhi is displaying right now.

Jason: *cackling* Come here, Damian. Let's gyrate on this rooftop together. *wheezing* He has that fucking lone wolf persona going on.

Damian: *agreeing* His fursona.

Tim: *muffling comm* No. I'm not speaking to anyone. I think you're hearing things. Alfred should check on you when we get back home.

Bruce: *in the background* I distinctively heard you say Dick's name. Make sure to tell him to properly update the patrol logs, he didn't do so last time and it is important to keep track of our every move-

Tim: Yeah-Yeah, I will-

Jason: YO-Tell B to bring me a souvenir. I love Paris.

Bruce: *in the background* You are speaking to them. It is quite sweet, I love that you are all getting along nicely.

Dick: Shut it, old man. You're in the middle of our debate.

Damian: No. That debate is finished, you were just talking about how Father is prejudice.

Bruce: *flustered* I-? What? I am not prejudice. Where is this coming from?

Tim: *cackling in the back* Stop, this is so mean. You're gonna confuse him.

Jason: You regularly tell people to get out of your city all the time. What's next, huh? THEY SHOULD GO BACK TO THEIR COUNTRIES? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY NEXT?

Damian: *wheezing wetly* Go back to their countries, please. I am going to pee.

Dick: This is the example you're setting for Damian?

Bruce: I would never tell anyone anything remotely close to what you're claiming!

Tim: You tell the supers to leave your city all the time.

Bruce: *stuttering* Because-I-We each have our territory! It isn't because of who they-

Jason: He's colonizing Gotham *giddy noises* Taking over the land.

Bruce: *pleading desperately* No- It's just a poor choice of words. I didn't mean it-

Damian: *serious* The colonizers never think of their consequences, just on their own selfish needs.

Tim: *slapping palms on table, laughing* FUCKING HELL. YOU GUYS SHOULD SEE HIS EXPRESSION.

Dick: Ashamed. You should be ashamed. It's okay, baby boy. Damian, I'll save you.

Damian: Do not touch me, Grayson.

Tim: Bruce is staring out the patio like he's going to jump.

Jason: It's the guilt eating him alive. The colonizer guilt.

short form writers look at people writing 100k+ fics as though this is some sort of talent given as part of a fae bargain, that the commitment required shows some sort of ungodly mental fortitude.

Dick: Drake?

Tim: No, I mean as Robin. I have to fill out these forms for a new hero team but it won't let me submit it without a surname and they don’t know who I really am yet so...

Dick: Oh, it's Knight. That's actually Bruce sanctioned.

Tim: He agreed to it?

Dick: Not exactly. He had to full name me in the field once in front of Lex Luthor and said 'Robin the Boy Wonder Knight, if you do not get down from there this instant...'

Tim: Does he use it?

Dick: I think so. After I started using it. He's sentimental like that.

padmé; from padma, or lotus flower, another name/symbol of the hindu goddess lakshmi

pooja; (padmé’s niece) means ‘prayer’ or ‘an act of worship’, usually associated with hinduism

ahsoka; most likely inspired by the indian emperor ashoka

aayla; a turkish muslim name which means ‘a ring of light around the moon’

barriss; turkish in origin, means “peace”

smhi; most likely a form of the name lakshmi, a hindu goddess

shaak ti; from the name ‘shakti’, an Indian name which means “energy”

depa; obviously from the words ‘deepa’ which means “light/lamp”

yoda; possibly from the punjabi word ‘yoddha’, which means “warrior”

jamillia; from ‘jamilla/jameela’, a Muslim name which means “beautiful”

tatooine (planet); literally an actual city in tunisia

mustafar (planet); from the arabic word 'mustafa’, meaning “chosen one”. note the symbolism that darth vader made it his home

jedi; from the arabic 'al-jeddi’, meaning “master of the mystic warrior way”

•vader; Dutch for “father” and German ‘Vater’ also meaning “father”

•naberrie; alternate spelling of Egyptian ‘Nabirye’ meaning “Mother of Twins”

•amidala; of Italian origin meaning “beautiful flower” and also a derivative of ‘Amitabha’ in Buddhism. In Sanskrit it means “Infinite Light” but it has other variants such as Amitayus (meaning “Infinite Life”), Japanese ‘Amida’, Chinese ‘Emituo Fo’.

•luke; from Lucas and multiple origins such as French (meaning Light/laidback), Latin (meaning “Bringer of Light”), Greek (a patron saint) and in English (“the bringer of light”)

•leia; multiple origins such as Hebrew (meaning “weary” but also “child of heaven” and “heavenly flowers”), Assyrian (meaning “mistress”), Latin (meaning “lioness”)

•gungan; derived from ‘Gunga’, one of the seven holy rivers in India

•mandalore; from Sanskrit ‘Mandala’ meaning “circle” and is a spiritual symbol in Hinduism and Buddhism

•rishi maze; a ‘Rishi’ is a Hindu sage or saint

•sabé or tsabin; possibly a derivative of the Arabic name ‘Sabeen’ which has multiple meanings

•ryoo; (Padmé’s other niece) variant of ‘Ryu’ which is of Japanese origin meaning “dragon”

•sheev (palpatine); from ‘Shiva’ - the Hindu god of destruction and transformation

•réillata; possibly from the Sanskrit name ‘Lata’ meaning “creeper/vine”

•ruwee; (Padmé’s father) from Arabic name ‘Ruhee’ meaning “soul”

•jobal; (Padmé’s mother) possibly from Hebrew ‘Jubal’ which has multiple meanings such as “stream”

•dooku; from Japanese ‘Doku’ meaning “poison”

•saché or sashah; possibly a variant of Russian ‘Sasha’ meaning “defender”, Japanese ‘Sachi’ meaning “blissful/fortunate’ or Indian “Sachi’ meaning “child of wisdom/joy/happiness”

•yané or suyan; from Sanskrit name ‘Suyan’

•rabé or rabene; possibly derived from Sanskrit word ‘Ravi’ meaning “the sun”

•han; originated from many cultures (Chinese, Korean, Dutch, German, Scandinavian, Hebrew)

•chewbacca; from Russian ‘Sobaka’ meaning “dog”

•qui-gon jinn; from ‘qi-gong’ meaning “life force” and also a Chinese martial art that involves meditation and controlled exercises. Arabic ‘jinn’ meaning “genie” or spirits in Islamic mythology

•obi-wan kenobi; multiple meanings such as Japanese (a karate or kimono belt), African (meaning heart) and Swahili (meaning soul)

•breha; possibly from Indian/Urdu name ‘Breeha’ meaning “The most beautiful”

A dragon is nothing without its hoard. Upon realizing that Swordfish takes a different approach to accumulating tons of treasure, by taking a trip to the nearby swamps!

Everyone meet Hopper’s mother, Avoryx! Her full title is Avoryx the Wicked and she’s very, well, wicked.

Sometimes a comic is born purely because you wanted to draw a ferocious battle between two ancient dragons!

Winter’s Chill - Part 3

This is part 2 of the winter dragon’s comic! See part 1 here!

Wheeew I am NOT drawing backgrounds again for a while! I hope you enjoy this ending more than the first one’s! :D

Winter’s Chill - Part 3