Top Hats & Tea Cups

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

There is no way this is a porno

This is the best porno there has ever been.

The way he says “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” shaped me as a person

the lion does not concern himself with the heart palpitations from caffeine

You're such a sick little freak (I adore you)

#this is one of those 'oh yeah we're stewards of the planet' moments #the skill with which she grabbed that bird tho #apex predators who take it upon themselves to heal and repair little things…

@a-rogue-god

Melbourne!!

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

so hard to find these guys

My favorite bit of folk medicine is that we’re supposed to take wormwood for intestinal parasites. It’s actually really effective, which is how wormwood got its name, but the reason it’s effective is that wormwood is literally just poison and it happens to kill the worms slightly faster than it kills you.

Medicine is the opportune application of poisons. Healers and poisoners are folks with similar skill sets and wildly different philosophies.

@deathisforsissies

dear @shitpostsampler i would like a pony and a cross stitch pattern for “Healers and poisoners are folks with similar skill sets and wildly different philosophies” please <3

[taps my chest] this bad boy can fit so much love and fear and compassion and anxiety and tenderness and grief and empathy and heartache and capacity for affection and loss etc in it

My tits are heavy could you hold them for me?

i should be smoking weed in the forest with the spirits and fairies

the thing about being nonbinary is that you really do start to forget that other people have such strict walls around what is and isn’t allowed for genders. i thought we all agreed that we made that up. could you climb out of the cave real quick and feel the sunshine for a minute.

what if instead of having a fake name for internet personal-life purposes we could have a fake name for professional work-life purposes

fantasy culture where you have a different name for every role in your life and a true name that is extremely secret

i don’t flirt i just say weird shit until you tell me i’m pretty & wanna kiss me

you deserved an apology. i’m sorry you’ll never get it from them.