Terminal Pancake Velocity

“Everyone has the same 24h” yeah right buddy say that to cavefish

almost all animals have set activity and rest patterns and this guy does whatever whenever

reblog if you too suspect you’re actually a cavefish

it doesn't matter to cats what kind of bad week you're going through, they'll come into your room and start doing repeated bulldozer attacks on you

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

action movie lock n load scene but when they throw open the weapons locker it's full of cow tools

Higgeldy piggeldy Bill Carlos Williams Is a shit roommate, that Deadbeat old bum Stoned off his ass, in his Insatiability Ransacked my icebox and Ate all my plums

I like to think that Hobbits invented the donut as a celebration of Frodo’s journey and ate them to commemorate him throwing the ring in Mt. Doom.

*guy who doesn't know anything about sports and has never cared about sports in his life* hey did you know womens professional baseball is returning after 70 years and the games are going to be streamed for free on youtube and the season starts august 1st

[guy whose bedtime is approaching fast] I need to write one billion words right now. and draw everything that has ever existed.

The author must have been eating woodland salad, candied acorns, turnip pie, plum-cakes, bilberry tarts, arrowroot shortbread, and glazed maple shoots, and drinking flagons of October ale and raspberry cordial when they wrote this

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

My hobbies include reading, writing and doing neither of those things