love the bare, the withered tree

you can prise the canon divergent pornographic character study out of my cold dead hands

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

that’s how fucked up our world is now

Sudden realization that the skeins of yarn out on my laundry line to dry are. Phallic in appearance.

It all makes sense now

"That pairing would never be canon" and what of it? I'm only supposed to ship what the church tells me to or something?

when you start reading again and it's like oh. oh . the sun actually does still shine.

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from aBigMothInALittleWorld reading: Making art is like this also /End ID]

hey sorry for being so snappish earlier i was in a bad mood. and im still in a bad mood so can you fuck off

last guy to fuck with me got the shrink ray. still got him in my front pocket just to hear his screams. feed him one cheerio a week

You need to give him an orange slice or something too else he'll develop scurvy

what can i say, i love to watch em wither