hot diggity daga!

any situation can be appropriately and calmly resolved with copious amounts of degenerate lesbian pornographic materal

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

this is the only website that has ever made sense to me

Hey guys the star of Let It Snake is graduating high school today lmao

Yeah I think he probably lets all his limbs go limp and just gets hauled around by his arms like a ragdoll (I tense up as the audience starts murmuring to each other and shaking their heads) I mean he has sex normally. He can access his own body during sex

Gonna start leaving unsolicited comments about how I actually DONT shave my bush for sensory purposes

i have this unrealistic fantasy in my head where if you calmly and logically explain something to someone perfectly they will understand your position and gain knowledge from the exchange. unfortunately in the real world this does not happen often

computer show me pictures of fat gerard

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.

HANG ON A SECOND, IT’S RIGHT HERE

BY HEAVEN THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING

what’s up youtube it’s ya boy liu bang. today we’re speedrunning the reunification of china. to start, i picked up this sick mandate. now, some of you may be familiar with this bad boy —

dont be ridiculous! my GLORIOUS qin army outnumbers your puny forces 200,000 vs 80,000! you will never defeat me, you would have to be STUPID or SUICIDAL to even try!

lmao look at this loser ordering his soldiers to break all their cooking pots and sink their boats! hey, vassal, if you do that your men will have nothing to EAT and nowhere to RUN!

wait

by Heaven this cant be happening

ok. so that was the bulk of the qin army. not ideal. slight setback. no problem lets all stay calm they can still send for reinforcements from the capital

we still have the capital right

BY HEAVEN THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING

at some point yall just gotta join a religious group and preach bc im tired of yall acting like sex/porn/poly/etc is bad every fucking month. we are one discourse cycle away from ‘sex before marriage is bad’ like go be a mormon and gtfo

ok i regret not unmuting this earlier

the wailing phantom

This is what we do to the guys. Back at the lab.