shitposting

OMYGOD?????

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

Grace/rocky is really good not only bc it has inspired so much innovation in the alienfucker community but also bc a good chunk of the art involves erotic open heart surgery which is just completely unrelated to the alien stuff that part is just a codependency thing

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

"What's up, big dog; I'm ratsmacker" is going to live rent free in my head for a little while

*stumbles out of the haunted house covered in hickies*

“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-

To flesh this out a little bit more: both Megan Thee Stallion and Hozier write and sing really sexual songs, but they’re different in that Hozier’s music is typically “let me worship you” while Megan’s is usually “I’m worshipping myself,” which makes all the difference because it’s an acceptance of power rather than the giving of it. He’s the sinner, she’s the saint. However, taking their difference in genres out of it, people don’t usually seem to take Megan Thee Stallion’s music seriously in comparison to Hozier because a) her lyrics are more overtly and blatantly sexual and b)she’s claiming her sexuality for herself, and that scares a lot of people. The secret, no-one-wants-to-talk-about reason is that she’s a confident black woman, which terrifies people way than sex does. In conclusion, Hozier and Megan Thee Stallion are two sides of the same poetic, sexual coin, but people just don’t want to admit it. Which is WHY a collaboration between Hozier and Megan would be so powerful that it would change the timeline as we know it yes I will elaborate 

I watched Iron Lung again tonight in the comfort of my home and my dog must've been watching with me cause as soon as bad things started happening to Simon she started crying. In the scene where he ultimately dies she could not stop crying at me. I am now watching him play the Henry Stickman collection so she can see that A.) He's not dead and B.) He's not in distress. Occasionally he'll whine or hum in discontent about something and my dog will look at me and whine to try and get me to fix whatever is distressing Markiplier.

she's the opposite of that snake that hates markiplier

You’re really good at origami holy sh

i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation 

Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?

same bitch

Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."