Americans were so scared of Russian interference but they forgot about the real threat, Bosnia and Hercegovina

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

People get so fixated on the rehabilitation of convicted criminals. Nobody ever talks about rehabilitating law abiding citizens. This is because law abiding citizens are a lost cause. The law abiding citizen is beyond redemption.

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

remember in p.e. when they'd take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like "today we're going to play basketball" and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

Traumacore edit of me at my white collar cubicle job with health insurance as though I have a goddamn thing to complain about in this stupid world

Work is crazy dude I saw this come up in my notifs and I was like "What the fuck is that" and I was like wait holy shit I made this 😭😭 Me at my workplace is not the same me eating chips at home

working on yourself is capitalist propaganda #stayshitty

I really like the phrase "a thing of bleach" from jeff the killer I don't know why I like it so much. A thing of bleach fell on him. It sounds almost like something I would write now. This is a helpful clue to the quality and character of my writing these days

youre not a girlfail youre an estrogem

Still not what I want

we are the daughters of the grandmothers you couldn’t hit with bazookas