Ridiculous Musings

Now, somehow, their entire mental health is based on the continued life and happiness of this fairground goldfish that they picked up.

Neither of you know the first thing about how to care for even a healthy fish. This fish has been poorly cared for, has multiple diseases and the person who handed it over explicitly didn't expect it to live nearly as long as it already has.

You're frantically googling how to set up a fish tank, where to buy fish food, can you even take a fish to the vet? Your partner wants you to know that they're happy they made it home and survived their horrific ordeal, but also that if anything happens to the fish then they're going to kill everyone on this planet and then themself.

You're honestly wondering if you're even helping the fish, or just prolonging its suffering, but your partner will only accept medical help for their many injuries or engage in basic self-care once they're confident that the fish is being looked after.

So you get a tank. You set up a filter and all that stuff. You learn way more than you ever wanted to know about water temperature and ph and nitrate levels. The fish is safe. You start to develop some affection for the little guy. Your partner begins to recover. The fish begins to recover.

Which is when you learn that in its 'healthy' state, the fish regularly refuses to sleep when tired, keeps begging for food that is obviously unhealthy for it (and struggling to eat the food that you do provide because “it tastes gross”), and continually tries to persuade your partner to take it out of its nice safe tank so it can go explore the wonderful world of Outside, where the slightest mishap will kill it instantly.

Jon is hiding under the desk.

—-

There’s a child in the Archives, who shouldn’t be there.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561263

so the TMA fandom is sadly LACKING in terms of ‘character gets turned into a child’ fic, and obviously i decided to fix this by writing one. this is 10k of feelings about jon as a child, mr spider, and jon and tim’s relationship.

he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"

and ilya

reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"

and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-

"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"

"what are you talking about?"

shane: "i'm allergic"

"??? since WHEN??"

"since always??"

"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"

"jackie knows"

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

based on this tweet i saw

I laughed so hard I cried then entered a flow state and created these super silly in-universe memes for your enjoyment lol.

POV: you’re @shanehollanderhockey

ilya scrolling twitter after his statement:

actual photo of the pikes going on a date night:

@shanehollanderhockey opening his DMs after #SextingWithShane

live video of ilya calling shane after #LeakedTexts

EDIT 2/23: more HR memes here :)

that’s how he is about all his people, and he is aware that Ed is underage so anything really bad happening to him is more fucked up than it happening to adults, even if he handles it better than most adults would.

Kidnapper: We have your son.

Roy: I don’t have children.

Kidnapper: We have the short angry blonde in the red coat.

Kidnapper: *near tears* I’m…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken the kid. Please, please take him back!

Roy: Hmmm judging by your tone, you know exactly what kind of person he is. I’m not sure I want to take him back. At least, not for free. Equivalent Exchange and all that.

Kidnapper: You’re counter ransoming me?! You can’t do that!

Roy: You’re clearly not in the mood to negotiate. I’m gonna hang up right now and give you a little time to be in a calmer state of mind, okay? Okay.

Kidnapper: No wait plea-

I have a cute no pack au idea.

Who knew it was possible?

The great thing about cooking leftovers and avoiding waste, is that you can make something delicious into something completely different but equally delicious. This is what happened to the fruits of my Citrus-Pear Sangria when they became this finger-licking yummy Grapefruit, Lime and Vanilla Marmalade! Spread it on English Muffins, it’s sheer bliss!

Ingredients (makes about 1 ¼ cup):

the remaining citrus fruit (grapefruit and lime) and ginger, from the Citrus-Pear Sangria

½  pink grapefruit, cut into very thin slices

½ large lime , cut into very thin slices

1 ½ cup water

2 tablespoons Homemade Vanilla Extract

1 cup white sugar

In a small saucepan, combine remaining citrus fruit and ginger from the Citrus-Pear Sangria with grapefruit and lime. Cover with water.

Bring to a slow boil over medium-high heat, then reduce heat to medium, and simmer, 15 minutes or until rind is tender. Stir in Vanilla Extract and sugar, and increase heat to medium-high, bringing back to a boil. Cook, stirring often, for about 25 minutes until marmalade reduces and reaches setting point.

Pour hot Grapefruit Lime and Vanilla Marmalade in an airtight jar you have sterelized (by boiling 5 minutes in hot water) beforehand, and close lid tightly. 

Let cool on the counter, upside down, about an hour. 

From the 1970s onward, a chilling practice cast a long shadow over Saskatoon, Canada, leaving a trail of fear, grief, and injustice. Indigenous men and women, often targeted for minor infractions, were forcibly removed by police and abandoned in the freezing outskirts of the city—a deadly phenomenon that came to be known as “starlight tours.” Victims were left to navigate sub-zero temperatures alone, sometimes never to be seen again. One of the most notorious cases was that of 17-year-old Neil Stonechild, who disappeared from police custody in 1990 and was later discovered frozen, a stark testament to the lethal consequences of this abuse.

Survivors like Darrell Night brought the horrors to light, recounting in chilling detail how officers left him to fend for himself in the bitter cold. His testimony ignited public outrage, spurring formal investigations and leading to convictions in his case, though justice was not served for many others. Individuals such as Lloyd Dustyhorn, Rodney Naistus, and Lawrence Wegner fell victim to the same practice, yet their stories remain unresolved, a painful reminder of systemic neglect and discrimination.

let me explain: in america at least, the lower class have significantly worse health outcomes, even when accounting for other factors. just being poor is enough to make your overall health worse. we don’t know that being fat makes your health directly worse, like the data just isn’t there, but for a moment, pretend it does.

imagine going to the doctor with a health problem and the doctor looking at your chart and saying well, this problem will be less severe if you go up an income bracket. have you thought about becoming rich? it would really help. start by saving a little money every month.

ridiculous, right?? very few people successfully go from working class to rich, it just doesn’t happen on a large scale in society. maybe for a time you pick up some overtime hours, spend a little beyond your means, and appear rich. but eventually you burn out, your car needs to be repaired, and you return to being working class.

we do have this data: only some people can successfully lose large amounts of weight, and only a tiny fraction of people who lose that weight actually keep it off for more than a year. telling people to lose weight for their health is just absurd because they almost certainly can’t do it any more than they can double their income for their health.

me when I get home:

me the entire weekend:

Which isn't to say we don't buy what we can, new movies and many shows are at library. But also, we get multiple purchase requests a month for stuff like bridgerton that we simply can't buy. The poor head of video, she feels so bad about it.

Biblically accurate version: