Weird Rock Enzhusiast

ok look im robbing a bank and there’s this trans girl and she’s making a good hostage but she won’t stop asking if she’s doing a good job at being a hostage. its sorta endearing but she asks like every thirty seconds- yes girl you’re doing great- and i was wondering if you would like to make a deal for her

like first of all… yes we do!!!!

Every glasses-related poll honestly needs to be separated into diopter ranges like wrestling weight classes bc every timeeeeee these +1.25 bitches are in the notes like "OMG why would you wear glasses in the shower!! why would you wear glasses having sex!!" because without them i am functionally blind. you may as well turn the lights off at that point bc i am feeling my way to the pussy like Velma. those are my eyes, bitch

Every Sunday a certain affini comes into my cafe. They very obviously want to forcibly domesticate a certain independent human, that also comes on sundays, but that human is just too emotionally and psychologically stable to warrant taking their freedom away. So they just stare at them from across the cafe, trying to clock any signs of mental unwellness. And they get nothing every single time. What that affini doesn't realise, is that there is a second affini staring at them from across the street

tumblr kinda lives in a weird paradox where lemon demon is cringe drivel but neil cicierega is cool and respected

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french

ill sniff it for you

im the hero of sniffing

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous