Burger Witch

sneezes really hard and an egg shoots out of me while punching a hole clean through my panties and jeans, ricochets off the ground and re-enters me perfectly

my understanding of the petplay dog clicker thing is that people seem to be utilizing classical conditioning to make their girlfriends associate having sex with having sex

lowkey being anti-pretentious abt Media is actually quite a bit pretentious. i find people who do this kind of holier than thou "i only consume popular media because I'm not a pretentious performative prick like you and unlike you i am in touch with The People" quite worse than being an uptight cinephile or whatever

Just thought I’d fucking Gnome all my idiot followers

enter my WAR ROOM.we can discuss such things as STRATAGEMS and TACTICAL MANEUVERS.. and girlsss

The criminal has been apprehended

Grond! Grond! Grond! Grond!

GROND! GROND! GROND! GROND!

the heavenly demon divine cult does a lot of things i don't agree with, but it's close to my house and doing their martial arts is a great workout so it's the good and the bad, really

i hear the heavenly demon does different jobs all the time like homer simpson. One week he's a massage therapist, one week he's a chef, this week he's a streamer. I think that's fun. The pope should work fast food, as a treat to the faithful

The guy who teaches tai chi at the park attacked us during the evening class, and uh... i think i might be an accessory to murder

Still, $10 a month for membership, you can't beat that. In this economy? Forget about it

They're talking about razing the shaolindo school to the ground, but they have classes at 7:30, which is when I get home for work, so what choice do i have?

everyone on r/jianghu says don't do it, practicing the heavenly demon 108 perfect jade motions style will cause qi deviation, you'll either die or be locked into eternal battle with destined rivals, but the sect hall is, like, five minutes from my front door, on foot.

it is not "punk" to shiny hunt. it is not "punk" to level your pokémon through the daycare. it is not "punk" to EV train on low-level mon. the only thing it is """PUNK""" to do is hang out with dark types and poison types in abandoned hotels

why did no one tell me quantum computers looked like that

Reblog if you are a human rights extremist who believes that all humans are equal and has no sense of loyalty to nation states.