blog here now

I guess I can just deal with the celestial basilisk lord. Just one more struggle on the pile.

Dating is so annoying. To be a match you have to make money but not too much money, be attractive but not too intimidating, you have to work out, you have to clean up after you shoot cum all over the wall you have to max all their hearts out and watch their cut scenes you have to not cheat on them with the little green alien that taps on your window every night you have respect their parents even when theyre out of line. Guys it is a lot. I cant do all that honestly. Im fucking the alien rifht now

I dont think humans are meant to be monogamous like your relationship is destined for failure unless you sometimes include the little green alien that taps on the window at night

in the early 21st-century, the “small business” was a sort of small temple run by a local warlord. Patrons could purchase small trinkets and be granted absolution for the sins of their empire. This was called “ethical consumption.”

i genuinely think ocd is incredibly underdiagnosed bc i will see people posting what are obvious rituals, compulsions, intrusive thoughts, spiralling, hyper morality, etc and its like Have You Considered This Might Be An Issue

it isnt actually good or normal to have moral dilemmas every day about which posts you reblog. it isn't actually good or normal to check and recheck every message you send "just in case" you sent porn instead of a 'hi how are you'. it isn't actually good or normal to believe that your day will only go well if you have a specific keychain or whatever with you. like i'm not going to diagnose you but i do think some of you need to look into obsessive-compulsive disorder beyond "ha ha funny man wash his hands" portrayals.

So what? Are you too good to see Oprah's Device?

DJs are problematic because they play songs you didn't consent to

only 62 more frogs until we hit 8,000 species described. the moment we've all been waiting for

there are an average of about 150 new amphibian species described per year so I remain hopeful that 2026 will be the year of 8,000 frogs

I do love that somebody tagged tumblr's own frog scientist on this post. chop chop dr scherz, we've got 62 more frogs to discover and you're the only frog scientist any of us knows

GUYS amphibian species of the world is still at 7,994 species of frog BUT amphibiaweb is at 8,008 species of frog, and do you know who is a co-author on the 8,000th species of frog there???? TUMBLR'S OWN FROG SCIENTIST DR SCHERZ

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

is it good that im having fantasies of dramatically quitting by explaining to my supervisor exactly what I think of her

I understand that you hate your kids and your husband, and you go out of your way to avoid spending time with them. but some of us actually care about our families, and might be a little bit less productive during these things called "family emergencies"