so many fanfics so little time

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

Yep, Tolkien's linguistic puns and translation jokes are legendary. Although it's not accurate to say the in-universe origin of the books is that an elf told the stories to Tolkien. Rather, Tolkien is translating them from a volume he found, written in Westron, called the Red Book of Westmarch. This contains Bilbo's book (The Hobbit), Frodo and Sam's additions to it, (LoTR), as well as Bilbo's translations of Elvish histories he encountered during his time in Rivendell (The Silmarillion). These were all in one volume and Tolkien himself made the editorial decision to publish them all separately. Even more fascinating, the Red Book is not even the original writings, which of course would have been lost by now to time and disintegration. It's actually a copy of the original, or probably a copy of a copy, multiple times removed. And it wasn't copied from the original, either, but from a copy that made it to Gondor where it was annotated and corrected. There's probably even more to its history that I'm forgetting, but yeah, even this kind of metatextual provenance was something Tolkien thought a lot about that very few writers even consider anymore. Which, of course, they're not obligated to; but the fact that Tolkien was even interested in that kind of thing just shows how above and beyond he went

Professors will do literally anything other than grade your exams (valid)

I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business