Et-Bae reblog blog

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

Autism is crazy because your social anxiety will just be real and true sometimes like people actually are secretly getting mad at you and you can't tell & you just have to like accept this about yourself

Not only can I not read your tone but I can't read my own tone either. I have no fucking clue what's going on ever I just walk around probably pissing somebody off without knowing it

As long as I've been able to speak... so since I was about five. I've been pissing people off without knowing it. And I just have to be like yeah sorry see I have pissing people off disorder. And it's terminal

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

Kitty!... long leg kitty!.. uh, creechur?... OUPPY

I WAS NOT FUCKING PREPARED

purr-fect pitch… 

It’s not even just a C, it’s the C. The correct octave and everything! This cat is a musical master 😭

And absolutely on pitch. The cat has a good ear. :)

I don't usually like animal videos with captions, but I'll make an exception for this one because the voice-over is actually good.