saw someone trying to roast this guy on reddit but all the comments were just like "fuck off, that's based"
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@wyrdstuff
saw someone trying to roast this guy on reddit but all the comments were just like "fuck off, that's based"
nature is healing

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Tbh germ theory DOES sound crazy. Like if you told a regency-era nobleman that tiny creatures lived on the surface of everything and THATâS what causes consumption, theyâd be like âah, I see you are a lunatic. Would you reside in my hermitage? Rantings and ravings do so amuse my guestsâ
But if you told a Medieval person this they would probably go "Ah, so when the miasma settles on surfaces it gains evil life. I understand."
Yeah, actually, it would probably be pretty easy to explain germ theory to a Medieval person as tiny evil spirits that live on everything, but they can be purified by soap and water, or by alcohol, because that is why God has granted us those things. And because they can float in the air, if you cough or sneeze after they have infested you, that can cause them to infest others. And when you are sick, the angels God has deputized to defend the bodies of His beloved children are at war with the evil spirits, and, sadly, sometimes they lose, but the best way to help your angels win their battle is to rest, drink plenty (this would probably be small beer in this time period, not water, because the water was also infested), stay clean, and for the sake of God do not allow anyone to let your blood, for the angels need that blood in their war against the evil spirits. Bloodletting is good for some types of illnesses but not the kinds caused by the tiny evil spirits.
boiling as a sterilization measure is also easy to explain. water returns to the air when heated and it rises as steam back up to the floodgates of heaven; we know God created the world in seven days, He's not up there making more water every time it rains. it circulates. the returning of water to heaven also purifies the water of unclean and malign influences. you know wormy water from a muddy puddle will kill your kid. you know you wouldn't wade into a bog and have a slurp. water that remains in the low places of earth absorbs all that is unclean from our waste and it may also sponge up new diseases from hell, we're not totally sure about that one, but it seems likely. God set up the heavenly water cycle so that the earth's waters wouldn't totally fill up with gunk.
what does this have to do with boiling your surgical tools? well look, the boiling water releases bubbles of steam which carries the malign influences up to heaven. you boil a knife, you send all the miasmic particles off with the steam to heaven. if you rinse the knife off in a bucket the water isn't hot enough, the particles go into the water and then right back on to the knife. you gotta boil it to get the particles all the way away. how can a tool or rag or a bed have miasmic particles on it when you can't smell them? humans have a lousy sense of smell. look at your dog on the hunt. are there no rabbits in the woods just because you can't smell them? we know that miasma is carried on the air, and is what makes stench so dangerous, and we know that humans can't smell worth a damn compared to dogs cats horses etc. a dog can smell if a rat died in a corner of the room last week. you can't. do you think licking the spot where the rat died is going to go well for you? luckily, what humans lack in snout we make up for in brains. we have extra brains where our sniffers should have been. God set that up for a reason.
and why does a rinse with wine spirits work? man, look how fast alcohol evaporates. my guess is that because wine contains a lot more vice than water, it evaporates a whole lot faster, in sort of an equal and opposite way that a rock falls faster than a feather. if you want the miasmic particles to get off there FAST, you dunk it in something that's going back to heaven at a gallop.
what's up with honey? it just preserves things against corruption. doesn't clean them off. honey doesn't evaporate at all. probably because bees don't sin. it's not good for ridding a tool of particles-- it's sticky-- but fine for preserving anything you don't want to go to heaven OR hell. this is why you wash the wound with wine spirits or purified water FIRST, to sluice the miasma out, then slap the honey on AFTER. and boil the damn bandage, too. you wouldn't put a rotten door in a sound doorframe and expect it to keep out bandits, would you? cmon.
I don't know how Terry managed it. There's just nothing on this earth like a Discworld book. I'll be listening to a book I've read countless times over and suddenly, a single line I've never even really noticed before will tear me open. They just reach right inside me and open my ribcage to expose my very heart.
Tonight, it was Hat Full of Sky and Granny Weatherwax saying, "The world is unfair. Be grateful you have friends." On their own, the words are unremarkable. But juxtaposed together, with the context they are operating in....they had tears flowing down my face before I knew what was happening. The world is unfair; sometimes, the wonderful happens when it shouldn't (and/or when you feel you deserve a divinely wrathful torment) because you have friends. The world is unfair. That doesn't just mean that the horrible happens when it shouldn't. It means that the beautiful does too. Be grateful you have friends. They are the hub on which that beauty spins, turning the theft into gold.
A lot of people I've introduced to these books haven't liked them â they find them too silly, or preachy, or nonsensical, or even puerile. I am never upset or really disappointed when they don't like them. To each their own. But I will never understand it. They are baked into my being in a way that few things are and I am better to myself, to other people, and to the world because of it.
Sir Terry, you were a gift nonpareil. Thank you for your words and for shaping my world.
Discworld Heritage Post
Thank you for writing this so much more clearly than I ever could. Terry Pratchett's books are a reflection on our own society but wrapped up in hilarious observational humour that means they don't feel preachy.
Few authors have made me laugh out loud so frequently and freely.
seething about the fact that i will never experience photosynthesis in my own useless cells. i bet it feels so good when the light of the sun both warms you and fuels you at the same time. a bone-deep satisfaction mixed with a heated sugar-rush and endless brightness. not that i would fucking know
Thereâs a college in my city that has a rumor that thereâs a secret basement below the known basement that can only be accessed via some hidden stairs scattered around the school or by pressing a secret number sequence in some of the elevators. The staff at the school are super annoyed by this and have no idea where this rumor started.
But I know. I think it was me.
In my defense I never intended to start a rumor. Many years ago I worked as a cleaner at the school and one evening I had to transport one of those big floor washing machines from the basement to the second level via the elevator. When the doors opened a very confused looking man stood inside. He was one of those slicked back gym-bro IT guys and made no movement to get out. The elevator wouldnât fit him, me and the machine so I asked âWhere are you going? Up or down?â
He gave me a smug shit-eating grin and said âDown?â in a mocking tone.
It took me a second to realize that of course he wasnât going down, we were in the basement, but his look and tone annoyed me so much I refused to admit I misspoke and instead said âYeah, down. I donât know if youâre going to the second basementâ
His smile disappeared âThereâs a second basement?â
âYeah but it sounds like you donât have access to it so I guess youâre going up? Iâll just waitâ
I never thought of it as anything other than a funny story to tell about that time I got so annoyed with a guy that I invented an entire second basement, but it turns out he probably refused to believe a cleaner fooled him and the story spread.

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The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me
This is painfully American
Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem
when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.
Reading hitchikers guide for the first time was really funny because it was like ohhhh THIS the writing that every unfunny nerd has been trying to emulate from like â00-â12 . But good.
happy anniversaryÂ
Oh, hey Charlie, sorry you didnât make it to the 8 year anniversary
How to tell if the scientist you're talking to is a chemist or an astrophysicist: Ask them if carbon is a metal
^chemist
Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.
Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:
I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.
me when im a flea
the fact that it's about priests and nuns (or would-be nuns) is not surprising. Catholicism Kink was very very common in England and the US at the time, since anti-Catholic sentiment gave rise to some titilating "well they could be doing Anything behind closed doors in their secret alleged celibacy clubs, wink wink" ideas
(although Catholics has been doing this for ages, themselves, too. see also: the Decameron)

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batman but with anatomically correct bat ears
if i may humbly elucidate:
@ritzy-biscuit
@chocolatemicenwhiskey
Hope no one screams in those ears đŹ
@origami-trust
I took a screenshot of your tags before you fixed them >:D
Can you imagine a bat dressed, crazed man driving by just yelling âECHOLOCATION!â
@jovialjuggernaut @stephalupagous @untilfurthern0tice HERE.
Welcome to being an adult! Featuring such injury causing events as
- sneezed wrong
- turned your neck a little too fast
- slept weird
- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual
- breathed
- failed to breathe properly
- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time
- looked too hard at something too far away
- knees
âwhatâs the worst fruitâ i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. âthe worst fruitâ⌠has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt
Red Delicious Apples
5th from the bottom on applerankings.com
May I someday gain the same level of succinct cutting vitriol criticism as the applerankings.
"are you gonna take those pills the rest of your life?" you mean my molecules? why surely you wouldn't deprive me of my molecules. they are shaped exactly just so, you see. my molecules
do you know how hard someone had to work to make my molecules into their molecule shapes??
they invented a new shape of molecule just for me and you want me to what, not absorb it???
reblog to remind somebody about their molecules
people who shape molecules at their jobs found this post and they're in the notes being happy to be appreciated. go take your fucking molecules
Job hunting in a hostile environment. â¨
yeah.
I hate how accurate this game is becomming

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âRaw milk is better for you as long as you boil itâ so true bestie now imagine if we could like. Super boil it. To really get all the bacteria out. And if we could do that quickly and efficiently. Imagine that.
go away forever with me
drew fanart of the thang