Maybe Today, Satan

years and years of language and communication just so I can fully comprehend the post someone made saying "goncharov is on poob"

In elementary school, my best friend and I had this game we would play where we were school supplies living inside a child's desk and going on slice-of-life adventures inside it. And I remember that a key component of our school supply society was a sort of religious schism that existed around the purpose and nature of the giant hand that occasionally reached in to grab different citizens, use them, and then return them, because most school supplies considered this an auspicious and enviable moment of being selected for a greater purpose and allowed a glimpse of a vast truth, but pencils considered it a horrible portent of doom because they always got sharpened during it and came back smaller and closer to death. We were third graders btw.

"incurious" still GOAT insult. You could be better but you're not. You could learn but you won't, and for no good reason, just a base dispositional apathy. Get fucked

making the radical claim "11 year old children should be taught how to make extremely simple food" has resulted in people making arguments like "I wasnt allowed to plug in electronics until I was 16 and I think this is super normal actually" and "children dont know what ratios are so its unfair to expect them to be able to comprehend the idea of adding equal amounts rice and water to a rice cooker" and I gotta say originally I thought maybe I was being too judgy but now I feel very secure in my opinion because what the fuck

Children might not know what ratios are in the sense of 1:1 notation, but they are more than capable of understanding 'you have to use the same amount of water and rice otherwise it goes wrong'.

In addition to this, cooking is an excellent way to teach children scaling and ratio in Real Life.

"Children don't understand-" AND THAT'S WHY IT IS YOUR JOB TO TEACH THEM????? LIKE HELLO??? THEY CAN LEARN??????

Love character relationships that can only be described as "whatever the fuck these two have going on"

"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off

the fake pockets epidemic has to end

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

Lost in the sauce

Some people see "Narnia" references", I see "Tribbles"