anti-transmed, pro-living however tf u want

whaat? gabe you trender wym?

As you can tell by my very much dead blog, I haven’t been very active. It’s because I’ve been distancing myself from this community. 

Ever since I’ve joined the transmed community, I have been fixated on my femininity and have been hyper aware of every little thing i do, trying to make myself as masculine as possible when that’s not me. My mental health plummeted, leaving me extremely depressed and dysphoric. 

Learning to truly embrace my flaws and feminine side has been really difficult for me on my journey, and I lashed out against any trans/nb person who was even remotely feminine. The community I surrounded myself with influenced my negativity towards these other people, and I now feel total guilt. 

I wanted to apologize to anyone I’ve hurt, insulted, or harassed previously. It wasn’t fair of me to hurt other people in trans community when I am also a member of said community. The trans community should be a place to bring each other up and support each other, there’s already so many transphobes out there, why should I be a part of the problem?

I still hold some of the beliefs expressed on this blog, but lots of them I’ve let go of. Including the belief that nonbinary people/people who use pronouns other than he/she/they aren’t valid.

I’m going to keep this blog up because I’m nostalgic and like to look at the dumb things I’ve said in the past, but please know that I do not believe in most of the things on here anymore. Unfollow me, block me, I don’t really care. I’m still Gabe, nothing has changed other than my opinions.

Because of this, I’ve been thinking a lot about the angry person who I was at 17 and I guess I’m back here to check on him again. I read my old posts and the more I realized 17 year old me was so hateful because he hasn’t experienced the queer joy of starting testosterone, finding an offline fully queer friend group, moving out of an abusive house, having your first gay kiss, going on dates as a man, and now having a relationship with gender that I never could’ve imagined at 17. He’s mad because his parents taught him to be ashamed of being anything outside of cishet. Now, I’m so happy that I could never be that.

As somebody who has apologized for the harm he’s done to the trans community as well, I actually don’t think that Kalvin Garrah’s apology is a fix-all. However, it is absolutely a step in the right direction. I don’t even believe that MY apology was a fix-all, but I’m doing everything I can to show that I’m not the same person who I was at 18.

you can’t even COMPARE a nazi to a fucking transmed, nazis are real and disgusting and a transmed is just a kid online who cares WAY too much abt other people.

no ACTUALLY i opened my asks like

I’m not even gonna lie, I’m pretty anti-transmed, but you’re right that the debate doesn’t effect people outside of these social media circles.

The tucute vs transmed debate is so chronically online, I’m tired of people being rude to others for doing what they want to do.