woahts system

you are just cranky because i took something imperceptible from you and you cannot recall it in its absence but you feel the edges of it anyway

if anyone needs me i’ll be alone in my tower

you have to remember jow special it is that when a black cat loves the sunbeams so much , its fur will get more colours because ghe sun loves it back . you cant let yourself forget

unrestrained summer fun

Youre the only daniel i ever gave a damn about

Ohhh wait...I'm cute!!! :OOOO!!!! *aims my pistol at your head*

I am God and in this next patch update I’m getting rid of periods. instead, vaginas will now make pearls that you can trade in for prizes

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

Being an American is fun because you’ll say something like “I think children should be educated and fed” and some Christian will pop out of nowhere to call me a filthy Communist and ask me why I hate white people, men, and god

HOW TO HUG LONG DISTANCE

HOW TO EMAIL HUGS

10000 KILOMETER HUG TECHNIQUES

Hey everyone, looks like the “cat summoned for jury duty” was ai generated - even has the ai symbol at the top. Thanks for the heads up, @cannot-all-throw-inkpots . My apologies- I did not realize when I shared it.

Aww dangit. Guess that makes sense, but it was so believable because I can 100% see that kind of goofup happening

Some positive news: There really WAS a cat summoned for jury duty back in 2010. Turns out the error was quickly corrected and the cat did NOT actually have to travel to the courthouse. But at least we can enjoy the fact that a papereork glitch did once try to give a cat jury duty XD

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

EVERYONE STOP TELLING ME HOW OLD YOU WERE IN 2008 I DONT WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT

everyone reblog with how old they were in 2008 :)