No one expects the clown inquisition

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

ID: a digital drawing of a man in scrubs sitting on a wheeled stool, serenely smiling with his elbow on a rolling cart, where a tablet is flipped open to show an approximation of the Lord Farquaad screensaver. end ID

Reblogging this bc it’s making rounds again

i love gambit bc when people ask him what’s wrong he’s just like “Ain’t nothin wrong with gambit.” and then the text boxes on the side would be like “gambit all alone in this world. gambit ain’t neva gone be loved.”

So fucking metal holy shit

when we "lose" a cis butch woman because he becomes a trans man or masc you should actually say such things as yay, yippee, or hooray.

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment King situation.

please please please be aware that if you and your friends get addicted to saying YIPPEEE like fortnite und cola yippee it will have an intoxicating effect and you might accidentally say it in a really important business meeting to a bunch of men you don't know

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

i don't really want to weight in on the "using big words in your writing is ableist" discourse happening on tiktok because i'm like 90% certain it's an anti-intellectual psyop to stir up drama in online circles to promote the use of ai to summarize literally everything and thus feeding the LLMs and lowering the populace's mistrust of such tools but i also have to say: dictionaries and thesauruses are the most accessible they've ever been. if you use an e-reader of any kind you can look up a word without leaving the page. there's a plethora of online dictionaries and if you just type a word + "meaning" into google it'll usually give you a definition. we used to have pocket dictionaries we used when reading in class. i have two on my shelf right now that i used in high school. stop letting the fascists purposefully misuse anti-ableism rhetoric to trick you into never thinking again.

I’m actually kind of glad aspartame is the latest food additive boogeyman for crunchy people, not because I think it is terrible for humanity but because it is a major migraine trigger for me and makes me violently ill. It’s hidden in so many things for no fucking reason, liquid medicine, mints, drinks that aren’t even marked diet. There are so many times I’ve bought something that had sugar in it and looked at the ingredients and realized it also had aspartame in it OR drunk something and gotten sick and realized it was on the ingredient list. It’s my fault for not checking but there are so many other artificial sweeteners that don’t have that controversy behind them and don’t have so many people reporting adverse effects but it’s like aspartame manufacturers are pitching their product left and right. It’s kind of nice to see products marked with ‘NO ASPARTAME’ now.