i heart wizards!

Grabbing an elf by the ears like handlebars and riding them but not like in a sexual way i just crash into a wall killing us both

Teqila got me involved in a six elf pile up

This is unironically a great game inspiration

it's a beautiful day in the lair and you are a dozen horrible geese

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

cyberpunk setting where instead of god dammit they say mod bannit

cleric streamer who says gods, damn that person for 10 minutes

drink like a Oaf, smoke like a Churl, fuck like a Knave

moan like a girl

dream about me

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

perhaps these trees are Very Wise Actually

how did your grandpa stepping on a lightning rune protect his kingdom

Getting too addicted to using my chain lightning orb. I’m not even using it on goblins anymore i’m like out with friends and i start zapping people with chain lightning in olive garden. Sometimes there isn’t even a big crowd it’s just like one or two enemies. It just feels so good to use. I need to pace myself. Go back to the classics. Just magic missiles and fireballs for a bit. I don’t like who i’m becoming

I once ate meat from a pig that was only fed wine corks during its life. I became nauseated and tired and fell asleep in my leather armchair. I dreamt of cool breezes over vineyards on the Mediterranean Sea, until I woke up in a cold sweat and a longing for Italy. It’s not right to feed a pig too much of something, it gives them a connection which is best left alone.