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The ballet teachers in twilight coming to work on monday finding their mirrors broken, the floor ripped out and a mutilated corpse on the ground:

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tallwife

Is anybody else obsessed with understanding how others perceive you like… who am I in your lives… what kind of person am I… a friend of mine told me once that I’m mysterious and I was like ??????!???)????

klaw

the year is 2023, marie kondo holds j*ff b*zos by the skin on the back of his neck in front of a public gathering

“does this one spark joy?” she shouts at the restless audience, they boo in response

she snaps his spine like .5mm mechanical pencil lead and throws his lifeless corpse to the crowd, they cheer in response

mewsicalmiss

Please tell me this is our timeline

knifefightscene

Obsessed with weapons that have a little heart shaped details they fuck so hard

knifefightscene

This <3

dimir-charmer

Girls will be like Idk why im so unproductive recently and then you ask whats going on in their life and they list eight lifestopping crisies and then say 'yeah but i should be fine :/ '

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manlethotline

you expect me to act like a normal human being? I’m wearing a turtleneck.

unpretty

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

guyalice

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

froginakettle

hotcocoachia

I fucking love him

jaynavajasso

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it

iamtypinglike98madmen-deactivat

He also jabs racists in the eye!

tumblunni

I love the justice grandpa of fists

cursedcharley

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

biglawbear

I have a new role model

briarchubnj

😍

runcibility

“justice grandpa of fists”

arquus-malvaceae-deactivated202

It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.

charismat1c-megafauna

Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited

bogleech

Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.

tramampoline

we need him more than ever…

joshpeck

still being active on tumblr is camp

fucignwimdy

this post is gonna blow up even more when op deactivates

joshpeck

i'll outlive everything you love

spelldealer

me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

valtsv

live laugh love? nah. languish lament lay down

valtsv

feeling this

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went on a date

#it was good #just sorta realizing a pattern with men i kiss thinking i'm going to go home with them #sometimes i just like kissing and getting attention

thinking about how Alfie saw Tommy struggling to see paperwork and gave him the number to his optometrist....that’s a love language if I ever saw one

#peaky blinders #alfie solomons #also alfie is a taurus

acewatney

looked a little cute yesterday

siriuslydandy

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tell me why I just had a random thought of Arnold Rothstein playing bingo but he has a dozen cards laid out to track and a marker in each hand?

#it's been so long #boardwalk empire

institutionalized-gaming

October can’t come soon enough

IT IS AUGUST

its-an-ear-hat-john

This has been in my likes since last year. It is time.

bedhead-queen

This is the 21st night of September skeleton. He only appears once a year.

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