30 Funniest Tweets Of All Time From Tuesday (May 26, 2026)
Xuebing Du
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Discoholic 🪩
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
cherry valley forever
d e v o n
Cosimo Galluzzi
sheepfilms
The Stonewall Inn

pixel skylines

oozey mess

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
tumblr dot com
occasionally subtle
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosmic Funnies
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
taylor price
seen from Germany
seen from Germany

seen from United States
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seen from Japan

seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Uruguay
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@briarchubnj
30 Funniest Tweets Of All Time From Tuesday (May 26, 2026)

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Charles Schulz — Snoopy Portrait (1958) Source
Happy 76th birthday, Snoopy!
Edmund Dulac (1882-1953) Caricature of John Singer Sargent in his studio (1915) Source
For my goddaughter.

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“The department’s own records described repeated installation failures and extensive peeling of the pool liner weeks before the alleged vandalism was ever said to have occurred. Prosecutors asked that the charges be dismissed because the evidence no longer supported Pirro’s claim, evidence that, it bears repeating, had been available to the government the entire time”
—
Jeanine Pirro’s Reflecting Pool reckoning
This was always such a stupid thing to lie about. The evidence was out in the open for everyone to see, the entire time. Literally everyone with a pulse knew what had happened and why they were lying about it.
And what will the reckoning be, actually? She probably gets fired and replaced with someone who is equally incompetent and corrupt. Nothing happens to Trump, who repeatedly insisted there was extensive video evidence of antifa cutting a 300 foot gash through the middle of his hideous pool liner job, yet never – NEVER – produced it. And, weirdly, the damage he claims was caused by vandals matches precisely over the tire tracks he left when he drove over it for a photo op.
This is like every other thing Trump fucks up. It was fine, it didn’t need anything at all but he decided to create a problem, declared that only he could fix it, made it worse than it was before he touched it, blamed an innocent person who had nothing to do with it for his own fuck up, and is now walking away from it like it never happened, leaving behind wreckage for someone else to clean up and repair.
That’s Trump in a nutshell. The reflecting pool calamity is a perfect metaphor that anyone can understand. This is exactly what he did with the Strait of Hormuz. This is exactly what he did with the Kennedy Center. This is exactly what he does with EVERYTHING.
I will never forget and I will never forgive the people who voted for him, supported him, and now want to pretend that they were fooled.
I’m not tanning I don’t tan I’m absorbing solar energy in a cool way I’m like Birdman
Edward M Bauer

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Kevin Kia
Touch of the Sky
I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you
I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products
Last time Tuberculosis ran through the USA a small number of people got it on purpose to look skinny and waifish and delicate and used makeup to look flushed and bony and when the Victorians figured out tapeworms people would infect themselves on purpose to starve themselves smaller and women and now in the year of our lord 2026 there is a noticeable fraction of the USAmerican population genuinely thrilled about a treatment-resistant microbial parasite that makes you shit and vomit your brains out for a month because side effects include weight loss and STILL we talk about being skinny like it's the natural default setting for all healthy people as if it's a self-sustaining standard and not an imaginary goal that we are constantly constantly constantly beating ourselves with a whip to acheive
Anthony Machuca, Wake up Steve, our bowls are empty
We need some WD-40 or maybe some butter to get me out of the doorway!

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Gamer pro tip: belly rest useful for all kinds of things
Gainer pro tip: bigger belly = better
………… love u siken
"Using the correct terms changes things, doesn't it?"
~Richard Siken
Words have power. And Words have MEANING. when we take short cuts in communications, we miss IMPORTANT context.