On My Shelf

junicorn

day 29

Robin #167

He didn't actually officially have a middle name said in the comics at all *before* Jack died, interestingly.

But yeah, it is for real.

O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?

*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!

Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.

But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.

If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?

Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?

The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.

This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.

More Cassie!

happy birthday tim drake u get a cat as a gift!

this FUCKING comment i got on tt when asking (somewhat rhetorically, though tone never does convey well via text) why tf everyoneones so obsessed w pointing out that damian is bruces bio son.(there was more to that exchange but it was js him going "well duhh damians more important to bruce" and someone else quoting pancakes v waffles at me like thats even a relevant "point")

like "a random kid". A RANDOM KID? HELLO? the 8 year old he took in who suffered the same trauma of seeing his parents die in front of him that bruce himself did? like just to begin with im not going through them all rn, partially because i cant say enough on cass's origins for it to feel fair

bruce himself had alfred as a dad.

damian was the last of bruces kids to show up, he didnt magically become more important than the rest just because he has biological ties to bruce.

"hes gonna make more of am impact cs hes his bio kid" holy bioessentialism batman! jesus fucking christ! you make me sick!

like the whole EVERYTHING about the batfam+adjacent is found family at its core. tim and dick being brothers LONG before either was adopted. tims stepmum. bruce adopting tim simply to provide him stability with no expectations of being his dad.

like theyre SO much more than basic nuclear family label bullshit and blood ties.

and reducing damian to his bio connections- like there isnt anything else important about him? does he need to prove he belongs there? is simply being loved not enough?

like damians whole intro thing was him being a very insecure child who thought/had been taught (im no damian expert ive only read a handful of storylines about him, corrections are welcome) that him being bruces bio kid was what made him worthy.

always going on an damian being the "rightful heir" and "blood son" and so on and so forth both dimishes the importance of LITERALLY EVERY OTHER RELATIONSHIP IN THE BATFAM and disrespects damian by reducing him to his liniage, denying him agency in his own story.

or something.