Ain't nobody gonna love you like the devil do

Me when its 1 day after Halloween and the capitalists are already blasting the christmas sale commercials

I don't know what those '90s sci Fi TV writers were putting in their shows but I wish they'd start doing it again

it’s unthinkable to me how other people can be rude to service workers. I spilled a drink by accident in a restaurant and I felt so much shame I wanted to implode

the busboy was like “you are not the first person to spill a drink here, it’s okay” and I replied “no you have to kill me for this. death penalty. throw me into the meat freezer” and we had a good laugh but I was 90% serious

this is a terrible time to be alive *remembers the latter half of the 14th century* this is a not so good time to be alive

hey op how do you remember the latter half of the 14th century

not fondly. I do not recall it fondly.

sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about

If I start my sentence with "Girl" I mean it in a gay way like I'm about to bitch to you about my coworkers who I hate and who I am nothing but nice to. If I start my sentence with "Maaan" I mean it in a tired teen boy way. Like Shaggy learning that he's eaten the last of his vile sandwiches

we need to hang on to things that mark the passage of time or we will collectively go crazy i'm not even joking

we need to buy seasonal vegetables for our table we need to decorate for our chosen holidays we need to engage with a weekly show we need to have semi-regular meal times we need to write down friends' birthdays and have movie night and attend fairs we need to change the flowers on our balcony with plants that can survive the cold and get soil under our fingernails we need to be able to plan and wait and anticipate and find comfort and joy in things leaving but returning we need RITUALS to survive

disabilities are not superpowers, that being said having auditory processing disorder my entire life made me insane at freestyling, cause my mental libary of homophobic phrases (rhymes) is massive and keeps expanding every day

"Will you match my freak?" No. I'm freakier. I am insane. This is a competition and I'm winning.

if you start introducing nice things into your life it's a slippery slope and you have to be careful in case you start liking it when things are nice

Just found out the guy I've been fighting with via email over whether a matter is legal or finance's responsibility is the SAME GUY I've been chatting with in the halls. Oh my fucking god. I'd literally send him an email basically being like, you are incompetent and you are actively trying to evade responsibility, and then FOUR MINUTES later see him in the halls and go "Heyyyy bitch omg how's your wife, how did the vet trip go, when are you going to come to lunch with us on Thursdays omg stop avoiding us" he must think I'm CRAZY