it's all good, man

So theres this conventionally attractive vase in my parents home and he just so goddamn fuckable!! Hes literaly driving my nuuuuts every time i visit the old evil trolls that are my parents, I want to do some nasty shit to him but I cant because the old troll hag (mother) never leaves the house because shes clinically depressed or something so she saya, im unconvinced, but this vase man!!! Hes tall and wide and glistening in white and gold so as I said veey conventionally attraactive but fuck!! The things id do to him in a better world. What do you suggest i do, fucktron?

Oh, and also:

Honestly, Tvyek is pretty miraculous. It’s permeable to water vapor but not to water, it’s nearly impossible to tear, but can be easily cut. It’s cheap and made entirely without binding chemicals. In addition to being used for wristbands, it’s used to wrap construction sites to keep out water during construction, for tear-resistant envelopes at Fed-Ex, coveralls for mechanics, and my wallet, actually.