surprisingly difficult pill to swallow: most people are not playing 8 dimensional mind chess and can be taken at face value

Obi-Wan is like I got the kids in the divorce. They aren't even my kids. Or my divorce

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

Oh no, a plan I had today was cancelled, now I have to allocate that block of time to something else but it has Plan Residue all over it, fuck,

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.

The thing that really sucks but everyone is too scared to talk about is that fumbling to plug your phone charger in doesn’t even scratch your phone

Seasonal Affective Disorder is just emotional scurvy, all my core wounds are reopening and they won't be fixed until the big lemon in the sky comes back

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

I am too tired to find it right now but when the scandal broke former White House intern Dmitri Krushnic wrote an op-ed for I think the Chicago Tribune, it was a major paper, in defense of Monica Lewinsky that said, essentially, "look, we all wanted to fuck Bill Clinton." And then later Mr. Krushnic became an actor, adopted the stage name Misha Collins, and was cast in the CW's Supernatural.

I swore I would never reblog another destiel meme after November 5th, 2024, but I'll make one exception.