ʚ(* ´ ▽ ` *)ﾉ🔪

damn your pussy fat and long and hard and outside

I habe some bad news

BOTH TOWERS?

The problem is I always want to dm my mutuals some shit like "I consider you an ally to my cause"

Reblog to tell your mutuals "I consider you an ally to my cause"

#lost in a fugue of penis delerium

Your too late mr bond I alreasy peed out all my pee from my penis

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

RIP William Shakespeare. You would have loved mpreg

why’d you make ur dinner transparent png

So no one saw my ugly table cloth and jury summons