the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴

It even crashes like a car in a ps2 game

there seems to be a fundamental disagreement between microwave oven manufacturers and the producers of microwave meals over whether the customer should know the wattage of their microwave or if such details should be abstracted away from them

my mom was trying to chew through some really tough steak and she turned to me and said “just call me The Gnawer.” she would do numbers here

she told me she doesn't remember saying this. quote, "must have been steak-induced hysteria"

tourist: from a very young age I always knew I wanted to stop walking and stand still in the middle of a narrow high traffic pathway

The ability to have nice conversations with strangers and especially store employees will save your everyday life from greyness

fic writing leads you to the strangest places. Like when soy sauce was invented, and the average time it took to dry chestnuts, and if the stars would have appreciably moved in the sky in a thousand years