"Women's spaces" is one of those things that sounds kinda ok when it is completely divorced from reality but the reality of gender segregation even on a small scale means there is no way to actually implement it that isn't incredibly bigoted and bullshit. What people are actually trying to do is make a space where they don't have to confront anything or anyone that is upsetting to them. But what people are uncomfortable with is based on emotional reactions.
Case in point, I've never been to a woman's only space that wasn't obviously hostile to me, and that's when I was even allowed there in the first place. And I understand why - my voice is very low and I make no attempt at voice training, I dress in a gender neutral way, hormones have done very little for me. Unless I am making a special effort to be feminine I clock as a guy. I am also tall and broad. The only way I can gain any kind of acceptance in "woman's spaces" is if I go to extreme effort to completely warp my presentation and step on egg shells the entire time. If im not actively ashamed and apologetic about the fact I read as a man I am not welcome.
Because, again, the reality of woman's spaces is that they are about the comfort of those who organize them.
I'm also very aware that it's not just non passing trans women who get the short end of the stick here. There is a long history of racism connected to these kinds of spaces that absolutely has not been resolved, for example.
The other half of the woman's spaces discourse is about resources, and is just so detached from reality it is kind of pathetic. The idea that a trans man coming into a woman's only space is somehow stealing resources from women is pervasive as it is stupid. The reality is that very few resources of any kind are expended in cases like this, and far more important is the single most important resource in marginalized politics, solidarity and coalition strength. Any "loss" of resources that occurs when lines are blurred is more than made up for by the social and political power that depends on different marginalized people regularly interacting with each other.
I think we can make the call here people, segregation is not woke. (Yes this is sarcastic in a "I can't believe I have to say this" way)
And that's just actual physical woman's spaces. The worst bigoty starts when people get abstract about it. Women who get mad about trans men who want to be included in discussions about "Women's" health care, for example. It takes a staggering degree of bigotry to not acknowledge that anyone who can get pregnant has a place at that table.
And it certainly doesn't stop with just cis women. For a long time one of the big anti trans men thing people were saying was that trans men were "copying trans women's homework" because there were a lot of obvious parallels between the groups. Again, it takes a staggering amount of bigotry to make that complaint. Even if trans men were taking ideas from trans women's struggles and applying that to their situation, we lose absolutely nothing! That would be a good thing! That is something to be proud of, that our trail blazing helped others. But some trans women had their heads stuck so far up their bigoted ass that they instead interpreted it as an invasion of their space, which somehow made them less special or something? I never actually got a coherent explanation for that one, which is not surprising as it was obviously rooted in bigotry and bigotry is non coherent.
