*gay panic*

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

Pro tip: ask them to say penis

one thing about me is that im a wiggler. you can count on me to squirm. even writhe, when the occasion calls for it.

its so funny to me that people on twitter n tiktok are like "ok but porns still banned on tumblr so at least we're better then them" as if they dont have to typ3 w0rd$ I1k3 th!$ to get around their censors

y34h, 4t l34st on th1s s1t3 you c4n t3ll th4t th3 p3rson h4s 4 p4rt1cul4r, mor3 4nnoy1ng r34son to typ3 l1k3 th1s

i want to you to eat deodorant

I feel like if a vampire feeds on you without killing you, they should give you a lil cookie and cup of juice afterwards, like the blood donation center does.

vampire that wears a lil fanny pack with snacks and juice boxes in it everywhere they go

Often, leaving work early is much more satisfying than a usual day off

are u gonna give me kisses every five seconds or do u hate me

does anyone know how to make a desicion

person who is chronically outside

reblog if you support the gay cinematic universe

The CVS experience is waiting for your medication and it’s CVS so it’s never on time so you have to walk around the store and the security starts following you cause they think you’re stealing/about to steal

My friend I don’t even got pockets what am I going to do stuff a whole vitamin jar in my mouth

Complaining to my mom on the phone cause this happened at Walgreens before too and she’s making me laugh cause she’s like “god forbid you read the label of the box in sweat pants and a hoodie.What do they want you to do dress in Gucci as you go to CVS to pick up your medication”