AWAY FROM THE SEA

sometimes older people get annoyed when i say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome" but the truth is it's literally not a problem

and sometimes you're not welcome

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[video desc: person impaling two watermelons on a stake for their small army of guinea pigs to consume, which is filmed on fast forward and oddly threatening. screenshotted tag reads "eaten alive by toupees"]

Your therapist asks you "Who in this image do you see yourself as?" and then shows you a drawing of two shirtless skinny anime catboys with a thread of saliva going between their lips

It was actually just an ink blot but thank you, this gives me a lot to work with

@polymathema @jenareblogsstuff

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times