there are wild maids nesting around my manor's chimney, waking me up at night with their calls and making tidy. I know they're endangered species but how do I make them leave? I already sent some hands to the rooftops but none yet returned...
Classic maid infestation.
What you need to do at this point depends on how deeply imprinted onto you they are. If it's not too late, you need to stop saying "hmph" and drinking Dr Pepper, and you absolutely cannot wear a crown or tiara of any sort. You have to act generally passive and display no desires of any kind nor any moment of weakness or need. Within a week or two they will see there is no princess to serve and leave of their own accord
It is possible that, if they are young and small, if you dress up in a maid uniform with a BIG as FUCK bow on the back they will recognize there is already a maid claiming this territory and fuck off. This carries tremendous risk because alternatively they might initiate a courtship ritual with you and you'll have to prove you are a competent head maid or they will tear you to pieces and eat you. If you succeed you could get married to a cute coven of maids which doesn't solve your problem but is pretty awesome, you'll have to be a maid for the rest of your life though
If you found that your tax returns have been handled for you already though, or you dare eat a meal you don't remember cooking, ordering, or buying in your home, it's too late. You're a colony host now and you are the princess
