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âso this week my town made the news forââ nope
âthereâs a restaurant two miles from my house calledââ nope
âtoday I learned [celeb] went to my high schoolââ nope nope nope nope nope
these are all real posts Iâve seen on the internet that allowed me to identify a userâs hometown instantly. if itâs a small town, thatâs doubly dangerous, because a bad actor could trace you just by a unique first name or selfie you once posted. in an age where doxxing and stalking are some of the worst Iâve ever seen it, you HAVE to think twice about what youâre posting online.
i once saw a 13-year old post an image they noted as being âa few miles from their house.â it had a theater in the shot with a unique enough name to be local. one google maps search, now everyone knew not only what city they lived in, but the possible neighborhoods in that radius too. and they had a HUGE followingâŚwho all knew this was a 13-year-old child.
so yeah. not to sound like a 90s internet safety PSAâŚbut Iâm gonna be that PSA for a minute.
if youâre posting an image, there is NO need to say that you live there. you could just be traveling. âsaw this in Montanaâ is better than âsaw this by my house!â
before you post about a venue, especially a restaurant or small store, check and see if itâs localâCRUCIALLY if it has only one or two locations. people might travel to arenas or convention centers, but theyâre far less likely to be traveling to Bartlebyâs Fish and Chips. if itâs an anecdote and you still live nearby, you can honestly just leave the name out entirely.
if youâre sharing a news story, it can just be a story you found and wanted to share. you donât have to clarify âit happened in my town,â because even if you donât mention your town name, an easily-googled news article will.
if youâre seeing a concert or meeting a celebrity on a tour thatâs stopped locally, wait until theyâve hit a few more venues before you post about it, or at the very least wait until you get home. this is honestly a smart move for any event you attend: unless youâre marketing yourself, thereâs no need to advertise your location in real time.
check your selfie backgrounds for anything identifying. this includes city names on venues, school names, street signs, and house numbers.
this stuff is flexible if you no longer live in your hometown, or if your city is particularly big, but thereâs STILL no reason to tie yourself to your school, your workplace, or your street. you can call it paranoid, but as someone whoâs seen my friends get literal death threats over fictional characters before, the last thing I want is someone willing to act on those threats finding out where they live.
Ages and ages and ages ago I shared a few tidbits on here about my hometown on a post like this, just to show how dangerous it could be. I'll give you the same tidbits:
--I've mentioned multiple times on my blog that I grew up within walking distance of a lake abutting on a cemetery.
On this post specifically, I mentioned that my high school mascot was a Lancer, which is funny because it has nothing to do with the guy the school was named for.
I also mentioned that I grew up a block from an ice cream parlor.
Then I said "with these three pieces of information, you can find the house I grew up in within an hour" and not only was this not an exaggeration, within three weeks someone from my hometown spotted the post and contacted me. It's an itty-bitty place, but the internet is big and wide enough these days that even so she immediately recognized the town she, too, grew up in.
If I'd still lived there, she could have walked right up to my front door.
Now this particular lady happened to be the younger sister of one of the few people who talked to me in high school (I told you it was a tiny place), and mostly she was like "omfg I can't believe how well that worked, have you heard from X person, is Y still doing Z" (if you're from a small town you know the kind of chitchat I mean), but imagine if she'd been someone with bad intentions.
Now consider that in the fourteen years I have had this blog, not one of you has ever learned my nieces' last name, and you've only seen the face of one of them one time, and it's when she was in a commercial and I was being insufferably proud. Unless you do a real deep dive you probably don't know their first names, either. One of them is a three-time national gymnastics champion and I've never even mentioned what her discipline is.
Ask yourselves why that might be.
Don't share your info, kinderlach, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. And if you do meet someone online who seems cool enough to meet in person (xe said, sitting in the office of the roommate xe met on Tumblr and doing her shop inventory for her), do it in a public location! Don't hang out alone until you're actually familiar with each other! 999 times out of 1000 it's safe, but you don't want to be there for the one time it isn't, and until that person is more than a name on a screen you can't be sure!
For all that the 1800s etiquette guides are--obviously--derangedly sexist from a modern perspective? They're also mindblowing in how casually they will assert things that MODERN DAY CONSERVATIVES would scream and cry and shit their pants about.
"People back then always married young it's natural!!!" Every single 1800s guide I've ever met casually mentions that, of course, you really shouldn't get married before you're at least 20, and waiting until 25 is usually better.
Or, like. Okay here's a long segment:
Just firmly going "it is crazy sexist to blame The Wife for overspending when thirty seconds of asking questions will immediately establish that her husband was outright lying to her about how much money they had. Talk to your wife like a normal person."
Or--okay, here. A section on being honest and not writing love letters in secret, because that's usually a good sign that there's something untoward going on....
....except that he then immediately acknowledges that sometimes, the reason you're hiding this from your parents is that your parents suck. That there are parents who frankly have not earned the right to approve or disapprove of your partner.
(I realize the phrasing there sounds a lot less strong than my summary, but--trust me on this. When you're familiar with the narrative voice of these kinds of books, this passage is downright radical. The mere acknowledgement that if you treat your kids badly, it's your own damn fault when they don't talk to you? I've genuinely never seen that before in this genre.
Don't freak out over "properly trained", either. It's just a linguistic shift--at the time, "training" was used the way we would say "raising" a child today. )
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Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.
So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.
That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.
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Posted: 20:45 UTC 31 July, 2026
Please follow these steps to check and update your email address. If you don't know your password, or if your password is insecure, you will need to reset your password â which requires you to have access to your account's email address.
How do I check what my accountâs email address is?
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I know my current password, but I'm afraid my password is insecure. How can I change my password to a stronger one?
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I don't know my current password/my password is insecure, but I know and have access to my account's email address.
In a private/incognito browser, go to the Reset Password page: https://archiveofourown.org/users/password/new (also available by clicking the âForgot Password?â link on the login form)
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If you continue to receive the message that your password is insecure, then the new password you chose was also insecure. You will need to reset your password again and select a more secure password this time. You can use a password generator to choose a stronger password.
I tried resetting my password, but it didn't work. Help?
The most likely reasons the password reset didn't work are:
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The new password you chose was insecure, so you can't use it to log back in. You will need to reset your password again and select a more secure password this time. You can use a password generator to choose a stronger password.
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you donât realize how important lunch is until youâre wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then itâs 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.
lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.
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Start disappointing people and not backing out of it when they are upset, reject feeling ashamed of everything including of yourself, start saying No to things you do not want to do not just things you're scared of, do more of those things you're scared of but wish you could do, make your own plans and execute them, decide to do or not do something without basing it on who will Dislike it.
Free Will takes practice, and the chance of making someone somewhere Slightly or even Very Disappointed In You. But you're an adult and you can't be made to stand in a corner anymore.
I loathe people who litter in general but particularly on hikes because seeing litter on the trail violently rips me away from my maladaptive hobbit fantasies where I'm on my way to a feast day and muttering about the inconsideration of it being held on a mountaintop instead of in the valley which is objectively more convenient for all involved, and instead thrusts me into the mindset of a serial killer who must pick up the evidence their future victim is carelessly leaving along the trail which would inevitably lead the rangers to us prematurely and wouldn't that be a shame? So I pick up their garbage like the trained crime scene expert I am, scouring under bushes for shreds of wrappers, before, satisfied that only nature remains, taking off up the mountain in hot pursuit of my quarry
Hey I just wanted to let u know I really love your works! Your story hero and the hope is very near and dear to my heart and I read it whenever I feel down. Thanks for being such an amazing storyteller cuz I really love everything you've written!
Thank you for reading!!! That universe is always so feel good for me, I'm so happy to hear you enjoy it as well!
Here's an excerpt from another story in that universe though, fair warning, it's the beginning which starts off not so happy. I promise it will brighten up soon! (mentions of blood, death, and violence)
----.
You are a Healer.
The battlefield roars around you. Mud-stained armor, soot-stained faces, blood-soaked flashes of metal. The colors of war are a kaleidoscope that you desperately try to track, pushing your gold-rimmed glasses up your nose with the back of your wrist as you drop to your knees by the next patient. Over the waves of violence there is the canopy of a white tent slowly being eaten by flames.
Well. Looks like you wonât be taking this wounded soldier to the infirmary. Not that you could lift them anyway. Your arms are truly spent from carrying patient after patient out of the melee.
Your heart is spent when you see the soldier youâre working on now is the same from a quarter of an hour ago.
âI told you not to run back out,â you say. Your voice is level. Calm. Tears push behind your eyes and stubbornly stick there, a hot pressure that is starting to make your nose run. You sniffle and stubbornly grit your teeth against your wobbling chin. âHealing takes an hour to set.â
This soldier is already living dead. The wound you healed â a puncture to the upper right chest â is mottled purple and red. Infection. Your power speeds healing which is why itâs imperative that your patients donât go rolling around in ooze for at least thirty minutes. The infection isnât why heâs dying though.
The laceration that cuts jagged through his fleshy stomach and into his wet bowels is what makes him living dead.
âNo,â the soldier says. His brown eyes are amber in the dying light. Such a waste of a beautiful clear day. He reaches up to grab your forearm, fingers spasming. He coughs. âNo, IâIâm not supposed to be here. Iâm not. Iâm a Baker.â
You know. He told you this less than an hour ago when you first dragged him from the hungry maw of death. His name is Jer and his mother wanted him to take over the restaurant. She didnât see the difference between a Cook and a Baker. He did and his need for capital is what led him to sign up for the Lord Neidâs army. One hundred gold pieces for just one year of service. Too good to be true.
Not enough is what you would have told him if heâd asked. One hundred gold for a life? It wasnât nearly enough.
A shield comes flying, wheeling through the air like a blade. You fling up your arm a moment before it would have hit your face and have the pleasure of feeling your forearm break instead of your cheekbone. You grab at the break with an anguished hiss. The pain blinds you.
By the time you remember your patient, heâs dead.
You stagger up. A steady green glow emanates from under your palm, chasing the pain from your broken bone. Healing yourself has always been easier, months of trial and error on your own body creating a muscle memory youâve never developed for others. Your gaze darts. The backline is quickly dissolving into the frontline. The enemy â whoever the fuck it is, the one wearing red capes instead of blue â is hacking at your side like lumberjacks at trees. Your white healing robes are nearly black with mud. Itâs not a stretch to imagine one of the desperate combatants from either side striking you down without ever noticing the concentric circles on either side of your lapels marking you as a Healer.
At last, at last, you feel the spell around your throat loosen. A sharp ding! trills in your head. A new compulsion settles into your bones.
Retreat. Find the Lord. Now.
The relief of being free to flee is short-lived. The Lord will be furious at the results of todayâs battle. Never mind that his advisors all cautioned him against directly attacking another Lord on their land. Never mind that his Knights told him that an untrained force â no matter the size â wouldnât win against a Dukeâs forces. Never mind the hundreds of reasons that Lord Neid lost. It will be your fault. For not being fast enough or cunning enough or strong enoughâ
The fear of the Lord is costly. This whole time youâve managed to not falter in your duty, to plunge into chaos and rescue patient after patient, to march forward even as your legs began to shake. But now you stumble as you turn to obey your commands. Fall to one knee.
Thereâs a whistling, deeper and meaner than the whistling of an arrow. Something collides with the back of your head and the sound is so loud that the compulsion is shaken right out of your bones.
You fall forward into the cold mud. Your vision is bleary though from the blow or the mud or the loss of your glasses, you donât know. You donât know a lot, actually.
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If you are receiving a warning that your password has appeared in a data breach from another site and is no longer secure, you will need to change your password to a stronger one before you can log back in.
If you are still logged in on any device, please make sure your email address is up to date before logging out or resetting your password, or you may lose access to your account.
Check below the cut for information on how to check or update your email address, and how to change or reset your password.
Posted: 20:45 UTC 31 July, 2026
Please follow these steps to check and update your email address. If you don't know your password, or if your password is insecure, you will need to reset your password â which requires you to have access to your account's email address.
How do I check what my accountâs email address is?
If you are logged in:
Go to your Preferences page (Select "Hi, [USERNAME]!" at the top of the page, and choose "My Preferences" from the drop-down list)
Click on the âChange Emailâ button at the top of the page
Your email address will be listed on that page, next to âCurrent emailâ
If you are not logged in:
Check your email account for recent emails from AO3, such as subscription notifications or kudos and comment emails.
Look at the âTo:â field to see what email address is associated with your account.
You will need to enter this email address exactly as it is listed here in order to receive a password reset email.
How do I change my email address? What if I don't have access to my old email address?
You don't need access to your old email address to change it to a new one, as long as you also know your current password.
Log in
Go to your Preferences page (Select "Hi, [USERNAME]!" at the top of the page, and choose "My Preferences" from the drop-down list)
Click on the âChange Emailâ button at the top of the page
In both the âNew emailâ and âEnter new email againâ fields, enter an email address that you have access to
In the âPasswordâ field, enter your current password
Click the âConfirm Emailâ button
On the next page, make sure that the banner displays the correct new email address
Click the "Yes, Confirm Email" button
Check your new email address for an email titled â[AO3] Confirm your email changeâ
Click on the confirmation link in that email, making sure to open it in a browser where you are already logged in
Go to the âChange Emailâ page and double-check that your âCurrent emailâ has been successfully updated.
If you still see the banner saying your email change is pending, the most likely reason for this is that you were logged out before you clicked the confirmation link. Make sure to log in to your account before following the email confirmation link, or open the link in a browser where you are already logged in.
I know my current password, but I'm afraid my password is insecure. How can I change my password to a stronger one?
First, refer to the above instructions for checking or updating your email address, so that you can receive a password reset in case your password is insecure. Then:
Log in
Go to your Preferences page (Select "Hi, [USERNAME]!" at the top of the page, and choose "My Preferences" from the drop-down list)
Click on the âChange Passwordâ button at the top of the page
Enter your current password into the âOld passwordâ field
Enter your new password into both the âNew passwordâ and âConfirm new passwordâ fields
Click the âChange Passwordâ button
You will be automatically logged out on all devices.
If, upon logging in, you receive a message saying your password is insecure, then the new password you chose was insecure and you can't use it to log back in. You will need to reset your password (refer to the below instructions) and select a more secure password this time. You can use a password generator to choose a stronger password.
I don't know my current password/my password is insecure, but I know and have access to my account's email address.
In a private/incognito browser, go to the Reset Password page: https://archiveofourown.org/users/password/new (also available by clicking the âForgot Password?â link on the login form)
Enter the email address associated with your AO3 account
Check your email for the password reset email
Click the âuse this link to create a new passwordâ link in the email
Enter a new, secure password
You will be automatically logged in on this device, and automatically logged out on all other devices.
If you continue to receive the message that your password is insecure, then the new password you chose was also insecure. You will need to reset your password again and select a more secure password this time. You can use a password generator to choose a stronger password.
I tried resetting my password, but it didn't work. Help?
The most likely reasons the password reset didn't work are:
You are entering the wrong email address for your AO3 account. Refer to the above instructions on how to check what your account's email address is.
Your email provider is blocking emails from AO3 or sending them to spam/social folders. Search for an email titled â[AO3] Reset your passwordâ.
Your email account doesn't have enough storage and can't receive new emails. You'll need to delete old emails, photos, or videos to empty your storage before requesting a password reset.
You requested multiple password resets in a short time period, resulting in either a âRetry laterâ page or the link in the first password reset email becoming invalid. Please wait at least one hour before trying again, only submit the form once, and make sure you are using the link in the most recent password reset email.
The new password you chose was insecure, so you can't use it to log back in. You will need to reset your password again and select a more secure password this time. You can use a password generator to choose a stronger password.
I don't know my password/my password is insecure, and I don't know or have access to my account's email address.
You will need to submit a Support ticket containing the following information:
your username
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Support will begin the account recovery process with you, which will ask you for further proof of account ownership. Please be patient, as there are many AO3 users who are also submitting account recovery tickets right now.
A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.
