Whatever

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

If you’ve tried to reach out to me in the last 7-8 years and I didn’t get back to you I’m medicated now and I’ll be reaching out to you shortly

orcs aren’t really mosters tbh. they’re demihumans. it’s barely above wanting to fuck catgirls.

This is a hot take that could possibly lead to chaos in the already fragile monster fucking community

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

Dude my coworker left a scrumptious cookie unattended

When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

I actually have six parents and three moms total but they're all straight as far as I'm aware

Polyamorous parents or divorce?

Turbo divorce

What the heck is a turbo divorce?

It's when you end up with six parents

Beyond Belief with Jonathan Frakes except it's tumblr posts

Bestie English - best friend Bestie Czech - beast, brute, monster

synonyms

Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the "G"s

I heard thats where they get the "G"s for cell phone service