all this effort to make it look effortless

it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”

someone’s complaining about nolan’s odyssey being historically inaccurate by saying “you wouldn’t give hamlet an iphone” and i gotta be honest. i think hamlet should have an iphone.

mrbeast type youtube video “forcing a mentally unstable danish teenager to post really good on twitter while he ruins the lives of everyone around him and then dies”

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

saying "i want spain/france/england/argentina to lose because they beat my team 7263837 months/years ago and mama loves to hold a grudge" is a good enough reason to not want a team to win. you don't even need that much of a reason. "rancid vibes" is good enough. "[player name] is my personal enemy" is good enough. go back to the core of being a football fan - hating for the love of the game.

not my laboratory not my Creature

i am legitimately so frustrated by the stupid unfunny destiel confession news thing u losers r still doing. destiel “the us has bombed iran” do u ppl not understand how obnoxious this is? the bit has run its course and been unfunny for years now anyways but doing this shit is so fucking offensive and irreverent

I can't speak for anyone else, but I have a tendency to scroll Tumblr with my eyes out of focus, and the destiel confession format means I usually, y'know, notice when a post is conveying big, serious news.

Why don’t you just read the news

Do we really wanna turn the Destiel confession meme into a moral dilemma and police on who and in what way can express their shock or feelings towards a world event that happened in their lifetime? Really? On tumblr of all places?

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

Is it licking boots?

because of sexual desires i will not disclose here.

something i actually just realized on call w some friends recently is how crazey it is that your online friends are as many as thousands of feet above or below u right now. like if you teleported to their location without changing your height above sea level, well your fucked in some way basically

op is there any particular reason the librarians would feel safer not invoking you by name