What day is it today you guys….. (me trying to think of something for the slow learners to engage with)

if you are bald you have no hair. If you have one strand of hair you have “hair” and if you have two strands you have “hairs” so at what amount of hair do you need to have for “hairs” to turn back to “hair” ? Not a riddle just a question for the culture

Sorry for the late response! I was bending ur mum over and spankin her on the flapjacks lightly

“Sorry for the late response! I was enjoying a three-day weekend for my husband’s birthday and was irresponsibly not checking my email. I realize now your project is more important than my entire life. Thank you for your patience!” How’s that

Someone I don’t know reblogged an old post of mine and tagged it “#ignore the url” girl what did I do to you the fuck

God I miss reading books

Literally ban tiktok who cares fuck everything

They need to invent a bacon egg and cheese mcgriddle but for 1am

Now that fujoshi has entered my lexicon no one is an ally

Sometimes I read something and if I don’t catch it the first time I do not go back to reread bc it wasn’t meant to be

NEED coconut shrimp asap OMG

Just read “coconut shrimp” and my mother watered OMG I need to die