Big Mood My Dude

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

*flies past*

Love that you can see the exact moment that Enlightenment™ occurs for this little dude. Good job, you did it.

theres an assumption that if an alien has an alien gender system they wouldnt understand homophobia but maybe they just have their own more complex version of homophobia. alien society with eight genders and a horribly complex web of what is considered socially acceptable that makes the gender binary look like easy mode. i'm inventing homophobia 2 and it's terrible.

those other guys are just roleplaying. i'm a real freak. i don't trust tapwater. i'm inbred. smoking me out is like trying to smoke out a warehouse. i get drunk off of 2 beers. i'm scared of Walmart. ever had real freak before? you will immediately feel the difference. the ride is smoother, the controls are more responsive. you've been driving shopping carts until now. are you in the right headspace to hear some shit like "batter up!" before you get fucked? i'm 5 foot 6. i don't have insurance. i'm trying to move to your state before we even enter the talking phase. i'll get a passport to fuck. you think you can have it all with a genuine freak? have it writ upon thy meagre grave. i escaped from a lab where scientists work round the clock creating artificial life- genetically bioengineered to drive your pussy insane. ready for a real freak? once you've seen the stroke you can never go back. my ears ring 24/7. all i do is train. spending a night with me is like spending a night doing the super mario 64 speedrun stair glitch. send me an email.

it seems like in bdsm the "rewards" and the "punishments" look very similar. this concerns me a great deal, because it points to a system of misaligned incentives. if we're not careful, it's even possible that a rational actor could deliberately violate regulations, because the penalties for rule violations are in fact incentivized. one shudders to think of the consequences of such an arrangement