Hyperfixation Dump

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.

Nothing good.

coco: let's create a warm comfortable place for the dragon to nap because qifrey-sensei says magic shouldn't be used to hurt people! qifrey: i'm about to blast this bitch to kingdom come

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

Cats also like olives because they have a similar compound to catnip in them, so OP's cat likely tore open the package for that reason. I learned this the hard way the first time I ate olives near my cat :/ they're not poison on their own but the ones for people are def way too salty for cats.

I should clarify my cat was fine, she just made a mess trying to violently steal all the olives.

A lot of the really funny moments in Lord of the Rings come from Tolkien playing with language like this, where we have relatively formal, archaic, “high” language responded to with informal, modern, “low” language. 

I like how in the first example Gandalf is employing the kind of sass that the hobbits have been using on him for generations now.

#zuko is so funny to me because at multiple points throughout the show if he had any manipulative bone in his damn body #he wouldve gotten somewhere #blue spirit? why are you throwing fire. the avatar is talking with you. LIE. #its so fucking funny bc the gaang is like 'zukos EVIL he is PLAYING you' guys zuko doesnt know how to do that. #full honest truth confessing insane shit in front of them. he didnt even gaf about being friends or being FORGIVEN it was abt the goal #'i need the avatar to take me into their group so i may aid in however possible to stop my father' that was the goal. truly was like #'take me as a prisoner if this is the way i can help' HES CRAZY (@ponytailzuko)

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

Let’s have technical difficulties with mama