Findëmaxa

This is one of nature’s most anatomically perverse of all beasts. A FISH, like a carp or a bass or a beta is a fish, but it bent its body straight up only to bend its head permanently back down. It stretched its skull into a pipe. It tapered its tail like a lizard, specifically like a chameleon. It can also move its eyes independently by the way, you know, like a chameleon. Fun fact, it can change color to express its mood, like you know whatever does that. It doesn’t properly swim anymore. It buzzes its few remaining fins like an insect’s wings to float itself around at a snail’s pace. It lives its whole life clinging to coral branches or seaweed, which means it decided to become a “tree dweller” in an environment where gravity didn’t even matter anyway. The males get pregnant. They make noises at each other by rubbing some of their neck bones together. Every day, EVERY DAY a mated pair does a little dance and a little neck bone song so they remember which two seahorses they were. They’re a beautiful precious obscenity. Nothing so adorable ever made such a strong case against a logical creator.

They have as little skin and meat as they could get away with. Their skeleton is almost all they are.

Lions have a 20-30% success rate on their hunts, depending on daytime and if they’re in a group. Great white sharks, anywhere from 40% to 80%, depending on the size and skill of the individual. Dragonflies, which are one of the most successful terrestrial hunters, can hit about 80-85%. Seahorses? 90% success rate, sometimes more. Only a fraction of their prey escapes that powerful vacuum. They’re incredibly precise. 

If you touch them, they feel hard, because of the skeleton underneath their skin. Their tails are being studied to make coiling bridges, because of how strong that interlocked structure is. Different species range in size from over a foot long, to barely an inch. 

and the newest seahorse family member, discovered in 2015, the ruby sea dragon ❤️

P’urhépecha

Maya

Ok. Having said that, let’s move on to the “fire hockey” game itself.

The game is called Uárhukua Ch'anakua, meaning “stick competition”, although the name can change depending on the region were it’s practiced.

The ball, or zapandukua, is made of wood, stone, or rubber wrapped with cotton fabric that is left soaking on petroleum for a few days before the game, when it’s ignited.

The sticks, or uárhukua, are also made of wood. Their size and weight varies depending on the player preferences.

Originally there was no time limit, so one match could last for days. Nowadays they last about half an hour (or until the first score is made).

Each team has five players and at least three reserves. Substitutions are unlimited but have to be notified to the judges so they can decide when it’s pertinent to make the change without interrupting the game.

It is a game of honor. If a player gets penalized or expelled, it not only means dishonor for them, it means dishonor for their team.

It is kind of a Big Deal, with actual tournaments taking place on the P’urhépecha region and other places like México City.

The Uárhukua is usually played at night because the fiery ball symbolizes the sun moving through the sky. You can imagine just how impressive it looks to have a literal ball of fire bouncing across the field.