this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this
im never leaving this hellsite
i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone
Show & Tell

#extradirty
Fieri Frames

oozey mess

Cosimo Galluzzi
The Stonewall Inn
h
sheepfilms

Love Begins

tannertan36

ellievsbear
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Claire Keane
KIROKAZE

bliss lane

@theartofmadeline

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
macklin celebrini has autism

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@vimairetta
this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this
im never leaving this hellsite
i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

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the next day after exerting myself too much because i felt good for once
obsessed with this sign my mom has in the kitchen. I know it’s about god but as a writer I’m like well I know the author and that is precisely why I don’t trust the next chapter
Barbie in the newest movie looks like if Elsa from Frozen was in Mass Effect
Don’t ask me why I know this.
i thought this was a constable frozen edit
Apparently the plot for this movie is that all the stars are dying and barbie needs to find a way to stop the universe succumbing to a cold dark end which is honestly more terrifying than a lot of actual scifi
Barbie and the heat death of the universe
are you telling me that barbie STOPS the heat death of the universe?
i see that the barbie people have finally picked up on what stories little girls actually play out with their toys
on another note, watched The Mummy (1999) the other day and I couldn’t help feel like the O’Connells and the Addams (Addams Family Values (1993) would get on really well ya know? The O’Connells are basically the pastel adventure version of the Addams, surely they would just be vibin’ over tea and crumpets in an extremely haunted mansion having a ball of a time
Morticia: “So what is it you do for a living my dear?”
Evelyn: “We dig up dead people who often have monstrous curses placed on them!”
Morticia: “fascinating”
Gomez: *leaping out from behind a pillar which is encrusted with ominous looking runes* en garde!
Rick: *grabs sword from equally ominous looking wall full of weapons one of which seems to be glowing* fantastic I was getting a bit rusty
Gomez: *nearly in tears* oh he’s screaming nonsensically, what spirit! what reslove!
*Rick and Gomez, still frantically sword fighting*
Rick: Have I mentioned how wonderful my wife is yet, I really feel like I haven’t really expanded enough on how wonderful she is
Gomez: do go on, I would be delighted to hear about how wonderful your wife is, I strongly encourge all men to extoll the virtues of their wives with rapturous praise, however I should perhaps mention my wife is in fact better
*sword fighting intensifies as both men rapturously extoll the virtues of their wives*
Jonathan and Fester and Cousin Itt watch from the bar, where Lurch and Thing are making the drinks.
Jonathan and Thing knew one another from The War; each thought the other to be dead
Their reunion is highly emotional
Rick, whilst swordfighting: My wife resurrected an ancient evil that brought about the plagues.
Gomez: What. A. Woman.

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the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice
insane like/reblog parity on this post btw
“Whenever this appears on your dash, we at Aperture request that you like AND reblog to preserve the insane like/reblog parity. For science.”
The last week has been so ridiculous even the satirists can’t take it any more
the fucking timestamp
Happy tenth birthday to this post which will apparently haunt my notifications for all eternity.
It’s about Brexit, by the way. The timestamp is a week post-referendum. Newsthump is UK-based and I myself am scottish. And yes, things have 100% got worse since then, but personally I regard the referendum as the point at which we entered the Clownshoes Timeline.
The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.
I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:
We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.
Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?
It ain’t Kermit
Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea
But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?
There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.
Eevee finally accepts the cone!

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The Kiss
Why is sewing so very very difficult!? At every stage--even just folding, marking, and cutting fabric, there's always unexpected obstacles. It's like I'm actively fighting the dark forces of sewing at all times
Oh wait. That's Malice.
I have accepted that the universe (malice) opposes the creation of a yellow skirt. I have made a green skirt instead.
You may attempt to look at it.
Bad news, friends. I no longer have a guest room.
This is Mayhem's bedroom. She stole it fair and square...
... And she's not giving it back.
Her room now.
Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.
The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there
Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.
And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.
seraphim
No... it's
Nephilim Ursus!!

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straight people: i love you.
gay people: strike me down. you’ve won. i’ve lived my whole wretched life at your mercy, yours alone, and God knows i deserve to die at your hand. you are my only friend. i am undone without you.
“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story
“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do