Drink With Me

got an ad on instagram for a group of beatles impersonators that hire out for events and all the comments were asking if they hired them would the paul and john kiss

A Horse power being only 735 watt is honestly so weird like that's not even enough to run a modern game on decent seatings

I don't like that fact

No but for real. Your brain is one of the most advanced machines known to exist. It's a computer capable of running a sapient intelligence on - and I cannot stress this enough - 25 watts of broccoli and stew. What the fuck.

It's a cool fact it just makes me uncomfortable

OTOH this also explains why brains are incredibly janky. You are a kilo of soggy bacon with a lava lamp plugged into it running 100 million years of crowdsourced software patches.

i put the :// in http://

no https? Is because you are insecure—

"remember though its okay to CHOOSE to wear makeup okay? you CAN choose to wear makeup. as a choice. a choice you choose. and its okay. its valid to choose to wear makeup which makes you look sexy and cute and cool and young and beautiful and hide all your flaws. its okay. if youre anxious without makeup and feel ugly and cant leave the house without makeup its okay to choose to wear makeup! we need to talk about how its okay to choose to wear makeup. dont forget you can choose to wear makeup and be valid!" how could i forget?

Nothing greater than crawling into bed and reading fan fiction about the same two people falling in love in every conceivable universe. My yaoi time is sacred.

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

THE ORIGINAL??

(smh) Never thought I’d see it in the wild. Yet here it is. :)

always gotta reblog the ‘breasted boobily’ post

reallllly feel like some of you have to start understanding people are sometimes going to make mistakes and not understand something and not know things and it's going to slot them in a perfect place for you to scoff and call them problematic and evil and they're not even going to know why.

not everyone is chronically online, or online at all. don't act like everyone who's ever enjoyed harry potter is a cartoon villain, when most of them barely know who jkr is and definitely don't know what she's done, or know what the actual symptoms of schizophrenia are, or understand what a neopronoun is. like, yeah, okay, you can get frustrated when people don't listen or when they willfully ignore you, but don't pretend everyone on earth is supposed to know already. my life advice.

my friend is a cishet white guy who's entire knowledge of schizophrenia was "yeah that's the thing people have in horror movies that make them kill people." he didn't even know hallucinations were involved. after meeting me, he googled it. like, while we were hanging out, he pulled out his phone, took two minutes to read up on it, and went "oh, so it's like autism, but scarier for you." i told him about neopronouns, and therians, and objectum, and a bunch of other chronically online bullshit, and he nodded along. later he messaged me with a couple questions, which i explained, and he thought it was all very cool. he has a snapchat and an instagram, both of which are exclusively for hunting and fishing friends, he didn't even know why the r slur wasn't okay to say. im not saying you have to educate everyone you meet on the street, but for the love of god, you need to recognize when someone's actually trying to hurt you and when someone is just not really sure what's going on.

I've joked in the past about how I want an Arthurian adaptation set in one of those bits of the Middle Ages where nobody has any working infrastructure and all the kings and lords are flat broke but they're still trying to make it work, but it occurs to me that a high fantasy version of that would also be kind of awesome. The High King in his grand palace (shitty hill fort) sending his Holy Knights (a dozen guys and a donkey) on a perilous journey (a half-day's march) to face the Dread Necromancer's undead scourge (exactly six zombies). The Necromancer's immortal death-knight champion (a skeleton in a hat) comes out to meet them astride a terrible hornèd beast (a reanimated cow because they couldn't find a dead horse).

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

this is so good. it's like i can hear the emojis too like truly so good. i'm obsessed with the way you voice the "So." especially !!

Dear God it's exactly the way I heard it.