i love BAMF 10 yr old Damian who can clock everybody's shit, but there is also something so funny to me about dumb-bitch-child Damian. like i need there to be a world where. hold on no i just need to write the conversation hold on
*Damian, out of nowhere on patrol one night*
Damian: you know.., there was a solid 2 year period at the league compound where i thought you were Batman.
Damian: yeah- ‘cause like, i was seven. and i met you for the first time after you came out the pit and were all big already. and i didn’t know anything about my father apart from, like, what my mother told me of him, right? and so when i met you, and i never actually heard anybody call you your name—just Mother referring to you as ‘one of Gotham’s greatest heroes’ and everybody calling you ‘prince’, in my little seven-year-old head, i was like ‘ok so this must be him then’.
Damian: well you looked a lot like him. i’d only ever seen one grainy photo of the man taken from a distance and you fit the description; same build, hair, eyes, broody manner and passion for justice. you were everything i’d ever thought Batman was supposed to be, so when Mother started giving you special treatment and demanding you be treated like somebody important within the league, i thought that was just her lingering affection for an ex.
Jason: is that why you made me teach you how to ride a bike?
Damian: yeah i was trying to make up for lost time.
Damian: i don’t know how you didn’t pick up on it—i called you Father like, religiously.
Jason: …to be honest i just wasn’t fluent in Arabic yet. when i finally did figure out that’s what you were saying i just assumed you were making a dig at the fact that i slept with Talia that one time.
Damian: yeah that was- can i be honest with you? i set that up.
Damian: originally Mother wasn’t going to meet with you in person that night, she was going to send a messenger in place, but i snuck into her chambers and edited her schedule so she’d be in the area anyway and would go see you herself.
Damian: then i ordered food for where you were staying online in the hopes that you'd chat and realise you still loved each other.
Jason: that’s where those oysters came from-!
Damian: yeah i didn’t- i didn’t actually realise how problematic you and her being together was until after i came to Gotham. i was just trying to have a parent-trap moment and get my mom and dad back together, you know? i didn’t know you were seventeen, i just thought the Lazarus Pit had made you look more youthful than before.
Jason, dryly: because famously, as you can tell by looking at Ra’s, that’s what the Lazarus Pit does.
Damian: listen i was eight.
Damian: -and i didn’t force you guys to do anything—this is still on my Mother for going with it; and for bad communication. if she had at any point spoken to me clearly about my father then that misunderstanding wouldn’t have ever happened.
Jason: so… when did you figure out I wasn’t Bruce Wayne…?
Damian: well… it was complicated?
Damian: it means at first Mother told me i was just going to Gotham with you, which made me think, like, ‘yay, i get to go home with Dad’ right? and then we got to Gotham and saw Batman and Robin out and you started getting mad at a ‘replacement’, and i thought you were mad because your Robin replaced you with a new Batman.
Jason, incredulous: oh my god.
Damian: -yeah, but then we had that whole confrontation with them during patrol where you told Batman i was his son and that Talia Al Ghul wanted you to put me in his care, and i was just standing behind you like… what fucking game are you playing here Father?
Jason: *snort* you didn’t- that didn’t fucking tip you off?
Damian: no! i was like 2 years deep into this belief at this point, nothing was gonna shake me. i came to the conclusion that you were sending me in as a spy or something, so i went along with it. we got back to Wayne Manor and Pennyworth greeted Batman by saying ‘welcome back, Master Bruce’ and i got really mad at Tim because i was like ‘oh so not only did he replace Batman but he did it with the first fat fuck he found with the same first name, huh.’
Damian: so i didn’t really try to kill Tim because i wanted Robin; i was doing it for your, the original Batman’s, honour.
Damian: ...yeah. i didn't- ok, honestly? i didn't really clock that you weren't the original Batman until after you unmasked yourself in front of everyone for the first time.
Damian: because- BECAUSE, in the league everybody just called you by 'prince' or 'the Gotham boy', and then in Gotham nobody knew your identity so everybody just called you Red Hood. it wasn't until you revealed your identity to the family and everybody started crying about some 'Jason Todd' that was still alive that i came to the realisation that nobody had ever point blank told me your name was Bruce Wayne.
Jason, in awe: wait- wait oh my god i do remember you being really fucking quiet during that whole reveal..,
Damian: yeah i was- i was coming to terms with a lot of stuff in that moment.
Jason: WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!
Damian: what am i, stupid? looking back a year or so later, yeah it's a funny memory of how stupid i was as a kid. in the moment? you couldn't have fucking waterboarded that info out of me.
Jason: you know. it does kinda- oh my god it makes so much sense now,
Jason: Tim told me the first time they let you in the Batcave he watched you walk up to my memorial case, read the plaque, and then loudly go, 'who the fuck is Jason Todd'. and i always thought that was real fuckin' weird considering i'm your emergency contact.
Jason: were you disappointed that the fake-Bruce was your actual dad, then?
Damian: honestly i was more troubled at the realisation that i'd actively participated in the action of trying to get my mother and adoptive brother to bang.
Jason: alright that's fair,
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