#1 Vincent Simp

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

You'd think "oh, well they're rich dipshits with no training who pulled a Stockton Rush, IE: did something everyone told them not to and then died" but nope, 90% of cave diving stories are like "Johnny Wetsuit had 5000 hours diving experience, a doctorate in Cave Diveology from the most prestigious university in the world, was trained to swim by literal navy seals, was part dolphin and had the power of echo-location, God himself contacted him to let him know the conditions in Drowning Idiot Cave were going to be perfectly safe for cave diving, so he went Cave Diving, made one tiny mistake, and then he got stuck and drowned to death."

My brother used to do SCUBA stuff and apparently there's spots in places like Lake Tahoe where there's just bodies that haven't been recovered because the people that could go and get them know better than to go diving in the parts of the lake where the bodies are.

Hold I have to look something up...

What the fuck

if you see me getting manipulated by a beautiful vampire do not intervene, i am right where i want to be.

i understand the appeal of vampires cradling you in a parody of a lover's embrace while they feed on you i absolutely get it. however ☝️ i will always insist that the person being fed on embracing, holding in place, or even pulling the vampire back in for more when they try to stop themselves is infinitely more erotic. especially if there's a hint of visible revulsion in it; an instinctual repulsion that nearly overrules any desire. even more so if either party is tormented by soul-crushing guilt and disgust with themselves in the aftermath.

yes i can appreciate the conceptual appeal of a beautiful humanoid apex predator literally pursuing you like water in the desert but i think that everyone should be more conflicted and not having a great time about it

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

vampires kissing the spot they’re about to bite has me nodding my head like yup that’s the good shit right there

asher talbot with braces you are so beautiful to me

write your fanfiction before the hyperfixation’s gone

reblog to claim your “never finishing my multi-chapter fics” award 🥇⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

i do NOT write for myself i write for the eleven year old girl walking circles on the playground making up stories in her head and muttering the dialogue out loud. i see you girl. that stick you found DOES look like a cool dagger.

the thing that bothers me with 7 deadly sin based characters is when they cant decide if they embody the sin by suffering from it or by drawing it out of others. ie. if your gluttony demon is a guy who loves eating then your lust demon should be a gooner sex pest. and if your lust demon is a seductive girlboss then your gluttony demon should be a 5 star chef. does this make sense.

imagining wrath as a compulsive ragebaiter