Certified Vincent Solaire Simp

1.) Anxiety. It can cause you to not only be paranoid of normal things, but then your brain gets so use to it that it gets to a point where you end up brushing your actual rational feelings and fears as just your mind overreacting, and it endangers you. Lovely having bad anxiety. It's one part of why they stuck around Vincent despite how he followed them around, and found where they lived and got into their place. And, it's also part of why they want to help fight during the Inversion. Because they have a warm and open heart, yes. But also because the anxiety made them think people would die if they oh, so selfishly hung back while their boyfriend stayed fighting, that anything could happen if they don't help.

2.) They grew up in an isolating controlling situation. Not an unloving one, but a stressful stifling one nonetheless. Growing up, they weren't allowed to do much on their own. And when they were, they would panic. They didn't have many friends, especially ones they made on their own that weren't friends of their parents. They were oversheltered, and not given a whole lot of control over their own lives. When they finally do, they take every ounce that they can grab. They choose to accept the first person to actually show interest and talk to them, even if he welcomed himself into their house. They choose to ignore his pleads to give him space and go back to Wonderworld. And it makes what happens with Adam a lot worse. He doesn't just trance them to feed on. He literally controls their mind. He keeps them frozen, makes them stand still. Tells them he made them sound like they were saying things he wanted to hear. And after that, it's why they're so invested in their powers. It's not just that "Oh, cool! Magic is real, and I can do it!" It's the sense of control, the sense of self. And when they get turned, they choose to not persue it anymore because they believe it will just make them feel as if it was another thing yanked from their control. At least, until Porter gives them encouragement. And it's also why they drive wild. They had to force themselves to be as chill as possible when first learning in fear that their guardians would deam it too much effort or something (can also lead into the anxiety thing). So Vincent lets them behind the wheel, they go wild. Also, at the start, they did have a hard time discerning Vincent and Adam, part of why they heard both voices after the Incident, and why a few of the lines overlap to match or click together. But they continued to want to be around Vincent even then because they felt like, if they had chosen to distance themselves from him, then Adam would've still been controlling them even after his death.

2.2) Which the lack of any human interaction also means that they have near nonexistent romantic or sexual experience with someone else. Vincent is their first full solid relationship and sexual interaction.

3.) Though even with their somewhat acceptance of him at the start, their first impression of Vincent was that they were five seconds away from whipping out pepper spray. Loneliness and anxiety made them cling to him, yes. But that doesn't mean they weren't ready to throw down. They were so quick to punch a vampire much older than them, you think they wouldn't swing at a guy they thought was just a creepy human?

4.) They don't drink. They don't like drinking. They don't like being around people who are a certain level of drunk. The closest thing to drunk that Lovely has ever gotten was on Vincent's blood, but that's different than alcohol. And they were with someone they trusted.

5.) Autistic. Think about it. They're always noticing when they're being stared at, pointing out when Vincent stares at them. They were avoiding Vincent's eyes when he came into their house, as they kept looking at his mouth instead. At least until they let their curiosity see his eye color. They can handle being looked at for their powers, and, even if it sometimes makes them feel awkward, they take pride in turning eyes with their style. But it's not the same as them being looked at as a person. And Vincent is the one they do feel most comfortable with staring at them, even when they always point it out. And it's possible that their Latency also causes their skin to be extra sensative, since their blood had affects over both Vincent and Adam even before their core awakened. And, it would also make them happy to have a boyfriend who knows good spots to watch fireworks from a distance, who understands sensativity to certain sounds and volumes. Which, also, I heard a lot of autistic people (not officially diagnosed myself but have my experiences and suspicions, so I get this) can hear electricity. Like hear the air get lighter when someone is walking closer or something (which I have experienced plenty of times). Lovely being able to hear the electricity coming off of people or from things works SO MUCH. Also, it's why they snap their fingers in Relearning Your Powers With Your Vampire Boyfriend to control their energy, even though they didn't really have to before. It's both to help them focus on what they're doing, but also a bit of a stim.

6.) Connected to the last point, but they're very particular about touch. They're uncomfortable with random people making physical contact with them, but with someone they know it could be a way they show their affection. Especially if they're having a hard time verbalizing their feelings. Like, basically, Adam put them through sensory hell. But later on, when they get more comfortable with Vincent, they'll rub their head on him like a cat, or stroke his arm (like they do during one of their dates before they ditch a fancy restaurant). Though, Vincent getting too close when they first met definitely did set them off a bit. And after being turned, with the freshly heightened senses, clothes would overstimulate them sometimes. So they might just go commando to not lose their marbles more. And Vincent doesn't make a big deal out of it. If they feel awkward about it, he'll reassure them.

6.2) Also, when Vincent senses their emotions are down, he'll basically pet them, finding which place specifically feels the best at that moment. And they're at a point of trust and comfort that sometimes, when those specific places are around or are intimate areas, it doesn't immediately turn sexual. He could be petting and squeezing their butt, or rubbing along their thigh and closer to more sensative territory, and it just gives them a sense of ease and safety. It probably does turn freaky sometimes, but it doesn't always. That's just the level of comfort they have in each other.

7.) Of course, anyone who's been around my neck of the woods knows Short Lovely. It's another thing that adds onto point 2. Infantilized, seen as weak, even by those closest to them. It's part of why they explore an abandoned amusement park, of all places. Stories they heard, yes. But also because they wanted to go somewhere with big things and feel brave, independent, for just a moment, in a way their height never allowed them before. Vincent leans a bit as not to seem intimidating. He made an effort to do it from the first time they met, but after a while it becomes natural. He spends most of his time haunched. It also adds to his "Little One" nickname, and why he later stops.

8.) Another part of why they went to Wonderworld is that they were at a low place mentally. They were becoming reckless, overly hopeful that the whimsical was real. Every day was the same, they hardly had anyone, not much life experience, the anxiety. It fucks with ones head. They feel like Vincent and their electro magic saved them in more ways than one. Hel, I saw one headcanon that they may have been looking for a high up point because they had gotten so low that they were ready to just die. That that could've been the "stories" they heard about that led them there, I'd imagine a few people would go to an abandoned amusement park to do such. Also, them saying, during the daytime before they went to Wonderworld, "Universe, if you want me to live, send a vampire to stop me. That's all it would take." Feeling like that specific request was impossible. Their disbelief at the start, while playing into the flirtations no matter how weird Vincent was, was them being curious if the universe actually listened, if it pulled the strings of reality a bit just for their sake. After all, it was "one hell of a coincidence" that Lovely went there on the rare night it was Vincent's turn to patrol. It also leans into the implication that Imp!Lovely's powers never manifested because they were so low that they eventually gave into being Vincent's thrall, that they didn't really care if they lived or died. But which is to say, it was during those 24 hours with Adam, when they could feel themselves getting closer to the end as Adam's magic was slowly waring off, did they realize that they wanted to live. That they finally had some drive to keep going. And their powers manifested from that fear that they were about to die when they just found a reason to live. Which makes Vincent saying they're an inspiration to him for their strength, their will to keep fighting for a life they want, hit even harder for them. He gave them a will to live, they gave him a reason to stand his ground and be himself. They saved each other, really.

9.) Fashion. Give them two old tattered sheats and a drawer of random knick-knacks, and they'll come back to you with wild but fancy clothes. Even after they and Vincent both really realize they don't care for fancy dinner places, they'll still dress up like they're going to a royal ball. And, especially with him having to plan and prep the whole event, they helped with both Vincent's and their own Summit clothes, I like to think. Which is to say, Christopher insulting Vincent's clothes probably did pain Lovely a little. But Vincent loved it.

10.) What makes their fashion loving better? Their genderfluidity. They know how to nail a specific look, down to the type of fabric, for the gender they want to present as.

11.) Goth Come on. Abandoned place exploring, at night. Totally fine with the macabre of a silver eyed stranger with fangs appearing in their house. Add on Fashion. Goth, vampire loving, Lovely. Also, they love rocking thick ass goth boots, especially being short.

12.) At first, Lovely didn't really care about Vincent as a person, but for what he was. On top of the other things, they were much more interested in vampires possibly being real, that one was interested in them and been showing them some of the things about vampirism. Who Vincent was, they didn't really think too much on. It's also part of why they didn't listen when he said he needed some time to cool down. Because, oh! Vampire feeling a bit of a frenzy? Interesting! And we know when Lovely gets interested in something special, they're locking in. (And, of course, leaning back into their mental state. They believe the universe grant them a sign, it's hard to keep a distance when they're already so low). But as time went on, they eventually do genuinely love him.

13.) As freaky as they and Vincent can get, Lovely can't do bondage. At least, not be the one bounded up. They trust and love Vincent, yes. But being stuck unable to move, especially their legs and arms, with a vampire going wherever on their body? It's triggering for them. They can handle things like being held upside-down, pinned against a wall with their legs on his shoulders, whatever. It could even be Vincent who's tied up, gagged, etc. They can handle all that. But Lovely can't handle object restraints. At least when Vincent holds them, they have some wiggle room, and can feel the warmth of his skin and his pulse. But being shackled up, especially to a bed (since, canonically, Adam had them lying on a bed), is a no-go for them. Which, also, would've made dealing with bloodlust harder. Because when that time came, Vincent would've had to try and restrain them at some point, depending on how the bloodlust was for them. And just pinning them to something to momentarily restrain them could've made their frenzy worse, and he wouldn't want to trigger any trauma for them anyways. (I think another backing for this is, iirc, Lovely is bounded up in Imperium, being shackled. Prime!Lovely not being into being the one in restraints, aside from Vincent using his own body. While Imp!Lovely is forever in restraints until Asher seemingly frees them)

14.) When they can't sleep or are dealing with a nightmare, and Vincent is away, they wrap themselves up in whatever things of his they can find that smell like him. When he returns home before they wake up, he'll find them in practically a nest of his blankets, pillows, various clothes, maybe even wearing something of his. Lovely sees his lockscreen one day, and sees an image of themself bundled up in all his stuff.

15.) Speaking of lockscreens- Their own was taken one of the nights they had a hard time sleeping, and took a picture of Vincent. Though, they had forgotten to turn the flash and shutter sound off, so he wasn't asleep for long after that. Their homescreen, however, is an image of Vincent licking flowing blood from their thigh.

16.) Adam and the Inversion aren't the only times death or near death has graced them. If anything, Death is a very familiar dance partner. They've known each other since before Lovely had ever known about Vincent. They even tell him, very bluntly, that he shouldn't blame himself for things they went through because they've faced Death many times before they even knew of Wonderworld.

17.) Lovely has, 100%, eyeballed Darlin before. They wouldn't cheat, and they wouldn't try to convince Darlin to. That's just shitty. But they can't help when their eyes wander a little. Oh. And Vincent will tease them a little about it. But they both know Lovely wouldn't persue. It's just a small crush, nothing more.

18.) Crooked teeth. Their teeth grew at different angles and they never got braces, so their teeth are crooked. Two jut out in a way that, growing up, they'd fold their bottom lip under and pretend were fangs. It did make them self conscious about their smile, but Vincent thinks it's the cutest thing ever. I also imagine Vincent with gapped front teeth, so that also helps. Two vampires with imperfect smiles.

19.) They have scars all around them. Not just from Adam. Those many dances with Death? They didn't come out unscathed. Some days, they feel self conscious about them. But mostly, they like to smile and say they're battle scars. The Adam ones, though, are the ones that affect them the most mentally. And Vincent is there to kiss every single one, both the ones they hate and the ones they take pride in.

20.) They actually didn't experiment with electric play until after the turning, when they start practicing their magic again. Before, it just felt like a new thing they were practicing and getting better control on. And they were worried about hurting Vincent despite his assurances and straight up enjoyment of a bit of pain. Sometimes the memory of how they threw Adam off would also creep in too much. But after some therapy and time, and they get back into it, they suggest to Vincent trying something new they hadn't back before they were turned. And he is more than willing to be their practice dummy.

21.) When they're curious or interested in whatever someone is talking about, their head tilts a little, like a confused puppy. Something they don't notice that they do it, but it's one of their quirks. A quirk which Vincent finds adorable, and sweet because it's a sign that they are listening to him.

22.) Though their music taste varies, they're favorite genre is rock. Older rock, newer rock, rock with subgenres like rap or pop, happy rock, depressing rock. Vincent likes newer music, sure. But he's happy he found someone who can jam with his childhood music.

23.) Another thing that made them really fall in love with Vincent was when he bought them stuff to cook with. He does say they mentioned that they dabble in cooking. But when Lovely said "dabble," they meant "I absolutely love just mixing together the wackiest old recipes and plqying music, it's sometimes the only thing that can still my mind." Which, they have a hard time focusing on the recipe unless they have another sound. Whether that's music, or Vincent talking. They otherwise fumble the recipe because their brain scatters.

24.) You know how Guy and Geordi's brains are? Ya. Lovely's is really similar. References appear at random. There's a council up in there. They're observing and mentally commentating on things all of the time. They wake up and go to bed with their mind just on overdrive (hence also them having trouble sleeping, too). Their brain and the council are just going, going, going.

25.) They have coordination issues, and it makes them clumsy sometimes. It's another reason why Vincent was making sure they try to be careful when going up a steep mountain. And he's become accustomed to it that he doesn't mind if they randomly bump into him, and he immediately knows when to catch them if they suddenly start falling over without any signs of something that could've fuddled them.

I know I have a multitude of reasons for why they could've been fine with how things started and why they went to Wonderworld to begin with. But all put together, it works.

They're autistic, with stunted height growth, and grew up being sheltered, but also not allowed to be how they wanted fully. When they're an independent adult, they finally have freedoms and let themselves be gothic, but they lack the rational thinking and social skills they need. And lack of experience with the world and people, and worries about not developing normally and being seen as a child, has caused anxiety and self worth issues, as well as issues meeting new people. That could've been what led them to Wonderworld. So when they meet Vincent, and things develop along as they do, they don't know how to react. Not that they're too dumb to understand that he's offputting. Their mind just isn't used to such baffling situations, and it's scrapping for any grain to continue living for. If it's a the possibility of magic existing and a vampire likes them, so be it (similar to how Imp!Lovely eventually kind of just accepted their new life, while already feeling like shit. It's the perfect parallel) And a part of them, the human need for companionship that had been left to starve for years, also overpowers any rational thoughts. And they're happy that something exciting is actually happening. And become grateful that something saved their life. Someone. And despite everything that happens at the start, they're forever grateful for Vincent's presence in their life, that he saves them beyond just what happens with Adam, or, later, the Inversion.