The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

Having your interests mocked as a kid and general low self esteem will have you insulting the things you like even when they're generally considered very good. Because you like it, and historically when you like something it's stupid and not worth anyone's time. So you will say nonsense like "I recommend this book/game/film, but it's okay if you hate it, it sucks, I really enjoyed it but that's because I'm an idiot" and you are recommending them the Citizen fucking Kane of that particular media type. And importantly: you need to stop doing this it is killing you

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

i do write for attention, actually, because that's a normal reason to create art

did you hear about that actor performing a play in front of a crowd? clearly only doing it for attention

im trying to say something and im not gonna say it in an empty room

Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if it was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!

Shout-out to all the stories that didn't make it out of the shower with us in time to be actually written down.

The reason we blow up fireworks isnt from celebration it’s to scare the Founding Fathers back to their grave and stop them from rising from their grave to feed off the flesh of the free

Irrational hatred: people believe in a pseudoscience and defend it passionately but NEVER are willing to do any science about it. My beloved friend! If you can prove that people born during a specific and predictable time have a specific and predictable trait, we will PUBLISH. If a specific rock structure results in a quantifiable effect while adjacent to the human body, we will write a BANGER paper together! If plants can form memories then let’s write a follow-up paper and get funding for a lab!! Make a survey! Generate a testable hypothesis! Don’t be so incurious about the world!