The Mighty of Earth

THEY FUCKING PLOTTED IT IN MATLAB I’M CRYING

[puts several things in my coat pockets] inventory

I’m a simple woman. I find a song I like, I listen to it for three weeks uninterrupted until I find another one.

honestly, the only good example of a genius artist tortured by his fans would be… Tony Hawk

The thing about Those White People Baby Names is the way they so poetically express the tension between individuality and rigid conformity. These parents all want to name their child something unique, because they value the concept of uniqueness, yet simultaneously they abhor it in practice… ergo, 30 different spelling variations on the most normative possible names. This homogeneity-masquerading-as-diversity is inseparable from capitalist consumer culture and in fact is directly analogous to the experience of walking into a grocery store and being asked to “choose” between 50 varieties of toothpaste with the same exact ingredients, 12 brands of laundry detergent, etc.

Somebody’s third eye is WIDE the fuck open??!!!!!!!

i can’t stop thinking about that tweet about the guy who tried to stop his cat from pushing his door open and accidentally trained him to push 50lbs instead

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice